Monday, October 11, 2010

Crash Forward

Wow Happy Thanksgiving everyone, we had our dinner yesterday and it was yummy! Mom came over and Dean did all the cooking. I am truly thankful for having such a wonderful husband who will do pretty much anything to make me happy.

I did do something yesterday I shouldn’t have done… I stepped on my scale. It wasn’t pretty. I have pretty much gotten back to my weight of 2 years ago. I held it together yesterday, really concentrated on what I wore and being happy that I was spending time with my mom. But in the back of my mind I kept thinking about it. This morning when I woke up I knew something had to change, I can’t wait until November like I had planned, I would hate to see the scale if I waited that long! So this morning I made a new account to Sparkpeople. I had breakfast while setting my goals. Truth is I plan to take my time and do this the right way.

After breakfast we finished hanging pictures and unpacking. Every last box in this house is gone! I am so glad that we can just relax for a bit now and find a routine not that everything has a place! Lunch rolled around and I totally lost it. I wanted to have some cheese (still do actually) but looked at the NI and freaked, why does cheese have to have so many calories! Really what I think happened is a sort of grieving. I had just sort of pushed the number the scale said away but really didn’t deal with it. Well it hit me today, I got mad I yelled and then I cried. Dean and all his wonderfulness helped me though it and I feel better now.

We have gone for a 50 minute walk and I wore my HRM and tracked my calories. It is a very nice day out and I am glad I could enjoy it. Even if walking up the huge hill at the end almost killed me! Its back to work tomorrow and I am sure after being off for four days all hell will be waiting in my inbox!

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