Wednesday, May 30, 2012

On Pregnancy

As my pregnancy is coming to an end I thought I would share my thoughts on the whole matter. I have alot of thoughts about my experince and realize that every pregnancy is different. For me as an only child with a small family and circle of friends I didn’t have alot of exposure to people who had been or were pregnant. So most of my information came from me looking it up. I had bought What to expect when expecting, and I also signed up to Both were truly invaluable to me and without them I would have probably had alot of anxiety attacks! Also to include in my education about pregnancy and becoming a parent we attended the public health pre-natal classes. I found these a huge waste of time. All of the information was not new as I had read them from the other sources. Also any of the things I thought I would want to learn were never covered. For example; how to swaddle a baby, not even touched, neither was changing a diaper or bathing a baby. Even the simple task of heating a bottle should I decide to not breastfeed isn't covered. We did get books that cover some of that, but it was definitely not what I thought it would be.

I experienced quite a few of the “symptoms” of pregnancy. My first trimester was laden with fatigue and nausea, and while I wasn’t sick every day I didn’t have any sort of appetite. The only thing that helped the nausea was Gatorade. It helped alot. And I really never knew what fatigue was until I was pregnant. I have anemia and thought it would be like that, but it was worse. I came home every day and napped and was in bed by 9 almost every night. After the nausea subsided I felt better, I also had my energy back. But then I was plagued by a cold and my nose was stuffed up for a month straight I think. While this is a symptom for some women I was worried it may also be allergies. But it passed as well. Also during that time I had leg cramps at night. I would wake up through the night and stretch and my calves would spasm, really not fun! I have also experience heart burn off and on and Tums at times have been my best friend. I have also had very vivid dreams, some good and some bad, but all very real and very memorable. There of course is also the less talked about symptoms; hemmroids, fluid retention, leaking breasts, constipation, urinary stress incontence. I could probably look at the list and have had all of the symptoms for at least a small stretch of my pregnancy. Which is why in the end the books where so helpful, so I knew that these things were normal and didn’t go into the doctor for every little thing.

That brings me to my time spend in the health care system. I love my family doctor, she listens and takes her time, but I also almost never have to wait long for her, and almost always could get an early morning appointment. As usual when I first got pregnant we did blood work and I was to see her every month, she would see me and ask if I had any questions then do her exam. At 18 weeks I went for the usual ultrasound. That experience wasn’t too bad. I had an early appointment and was in and out fairly early. I also went for maternal blood work, which was done at the IWK. Let me tell you all my tests/blood work that was done at the IWK lab was horrid. I was there early every time and we waited for at least an hour every time, usually without a seat. How they except pregnant women to stand that long, plus have little kids around waiting that long I don’t know. They need to do something about that system, make a bigger waiting room or have separate sections for women and children. Shortly after my week 18 ultrasound my doctor needed to pass me off to a doctor that deals with pregnant women and babies. I am really not sure why this had to happen, I think it is about the type of insurance doctors carry for what they can do. So I was referred to the Perinatal Center at the IWK. Worst choice ever! I have not gotten in and out of there in less than an hour. And while I have been assigned a doctor there have been 3 occasions where I was seen by a different one. Also what is done to be there is no different than at my doctors office, and it isn’t even the doctor that looks at me! Also as you get further along in your pregnancy you need to see the doctor more often, so after going monthly for 5 months it becomes bi-weekly and finally weekly. How people do this while working the whole time I don’t know, because I was out of sick time/appointment time by 7 months. And nothing ever changes, you wait, you register, you wait, you get weighed, you wait, you get a room, you wait, the RN comes and does the exam (BP, babies heart rate and measures your belly), you wait, the doctor is in for a matter of minuets and you leave. For the past 4 weeks I have been going weekly and I really don’t see the need. The whole process seems to be a waste of money and time, for one doctors appointment I see 4 different people. It’s crazy really…

While that stuff seemed mostly negative being pregnant does have good points. Feeling the baby kick around inside is very cool. Also now that I am ready to burst I can feel the little bum and legs and feet sometimes, which is also really cool. Of course there was getting the baby room ready, that was super fun and I can’t wait for a baby to be in it, right now the only one that uses it is the cat! Also it has brought a different element to my relationship with Dean. I just know he will be a great father and it has also shown me how much he cares for me. He has been there since the very first time I thought I was going to throw up, encouraging me to eat well, and rubbing my back, holding my hair. Holding me when my emotions got the better of me, and putting up with all my complaints.

All that said I am very excited to meet this baby and see what labour and delivery have to offer. I am sure that will have a whole host of thoughts going with it and hope to post about it too. For now I sit and wait for signs of contractions and baby arrival!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Wonders Weather Weekend

Whenever holidays and other “special” days come around I like to read what I was up to. Seems last Victoria Day weekend I was relaxing with Dean and going to the trainer and stuff. I was pretty content.

Needless to say I am pretty content right now. We had an amazing weekend, even if for Dean it was only 2 days. The weather was great and I got alot of things checked off the to-do list! Friday Dean was working at night so during the day we ran our errands to Costco and Sobeys. Got our bill and were only a few dollars over budget. That is great for us as we cut our budget by 50 dollars since I have been off work and only going over a tiny bit means we can manage with the cut back.

Like I said Dean actually had the weekend off, which for us doesn't happen very often. Saturday morning we cleaned up the house inside and spend the afternoon on the deck, had a great BBQ for supper with salad and spent the evening cuddled up on the couch watching a movie. Yesterday it seems I did what almost everyone else did, we spend time gardening. We had breakfast and  headed to Home Depot to pick up some soil, and a few more plants. I had bought bulbs at Costco a few weeks ago and needed to get them planted. So we planted them and I re-potted a few of my indoor plants. Then we tackled the back yard. By the time we got to the very back corner I was beat so we left it. We decided there is probably more we want to do with it and it isn’t worth the effort right now.

With the inside and the outside work done I had a little nap in the afternoon while Dean made a potato salad for supper with our hamburgers! Then I spent some time on the back deck in the sun. We both may have been a bit sun burnt but its not too bad. Again after supper our evening was spent curled up on the couch.

The only thing missing from my weekend is the fact that the ice-cream stand I can see from my house is now open and I desperately want a ice cream cone… but Dean says we don’t need it so I am trying to hold out. I can only hope alot more of “our” weekends are like this one was. And by that I mean when Dean has his days off, which as mentioned is almost never Saturday and Sunday.

In baby news we are still waiting for the little one. I am pretty sore today from the work I did yesterday and I feel like a house, but hopefully in 2 weeks or less our little bundle will show up! I hope everyone had a great Victoria Day weekend!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Loneliness and some random thoughts.

Well I am starting to fear that going off work while I do think necessary was a bit early. I’ve been off for 2 weeks now and I am starting to feel lonely and isolated. I knew it would happen, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be so soon.

It is hard with Dean gone 9 – 10 hours a day working. I can’t blame him, and I don’t. I just find it hard to get motivated to do some things I want/should/could do. Part of it is being 37 weeks pregnant. If I go up and down the steps too much I get lightheaded and sore very fast. I am nervous about going out for a walk alone in case something happened. And maybe that is silly of me, but I don’t know my neighbours and I just am unsure about it. The stuff that I should do is cleaning and that sort of thing, and it just seems like alot of work to me. I  know what will happen though, Dean will have some time off and we will get the house tidy together, that is normally how it goes. So I will get by, I am just left hoping this baby comes sooner and sooner!

Some random thoughts in my life;

I am starting to think of after the baby is here and what I want my life to look like. I definitely want to show this baby healthy living and that will mean making some changes back to our old ways. While pregnant there was a time when I was told I HAD to gain weight. So we made some changes that weren’t too drastic but still when you want to lose/not gain weight it’s hard. For example we switched from 1% milk to 2, and we started buying real ice cream rather than frozen yogurt. My eating has also still been pretty erratic with Dean working over suppers and me just not feeling like cooking/eating. I nibble here and there but I will really have to work on getting a routine down for eating. I have managed to get some meals in the freezer since being off work, and hope to get some more in there. Also we are meal planning a bit better and trying to stick to a firmer budget so less snacks and thoughtless spending will help.

Another thought… Dean was suppose to run the Bluenose Marathon this year, due to events in our life he wasn’t able to train so he decided to move it to next year. I think it’s great and I have even been looking into a training schedule for him; I want to support him in this as it’s one of his bucket list things. It also has me thinking about my small in comparison 5K I want to run someday. I am getting excited to be able to go out for walks with baby and maybe even start running… we will see but it’s exciting to think about!

Sleep is evading me it seems. I cannot find a comfortable position at night and when I do I am awake to roll over or pee in an hour or two. Last night I was up from 4 until sometime after 5, I was wide awake but knew I needed more sleep. Besides with out the baby here right now what else is there to do at 4 in the morning?

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Stretch marks!

Pregnancy comes with a whole slew of side effects. My diet has changed, my moods have changed and the body changes…

One of those body changes is stretch marks. I had stretch marks since I was probably about 10. I have them on my legs, arms, hips and breasts. I was a little embarrassed of them at times, but over all they never really bothered me. But now I have them on my stomach too! I was a little shocked when I first saw them, about 4 weeks ago. I had been doing really well with not getting any. Then they hit, all of a sudden. And today I looked in the mirror and there was more! I can’t see them unless I am in the mirror, which is a benefit I guess, but I am worried about what  they will look like after the baby. I know they will fade, but I do worry. Not that I wear bikini’s often or show off my abs (what abs, lol). But Dean sees them.

So while I am worried about it I will try to push it to the back of my mind and focus about the baby on the way! After the fact I will worry about them, although I use stretch mark cream apparently the baby just wants to stretch too much!!

Other than the stretch marks I am feeling pretty good. I had a Doctor’s appointment yesterday with no complications, I am very happy, but very much want to have this baby soon!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mothers Day

Last year I avoided Mothers Day at all costs. No one got cards or phone calls, no one was wished a Happy Mothers Day. Avoiding Mothers Day got me through mothers day with out tears or sadness. This year it seems like Mothers Day came early and everything was hitting me at the beginning of the month. There is also the added fact that while I am not yet a mother, I am certainty on the way to becoming one. I find alot of these holidays over rated and over commercialized. I mean who gets there mother a lap top or a phone for Mothers Day? I never did nor did I ever plan on it.

Dean is very excited because he will be a father for this Fathers Day. But I have already told him it won’t be an over the top event (especially since we will only have a baby who is less than a month old!). All I ever did was get mom/dad a card and maybe something worth 20 – 30 dollars.

With Mothers day here it really got me thinking of what my mom experinced and how her pregnancy was. There are very few pictures of her pregnant, they are poor quality and I took pictures of them, but here they are; SAM_1445SAM_1443SAM_1444

I really wish I had her to talk to about being pregnant, but I know she is watching down on me and will give me support for the big day!

So Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there, and Happy Sunday to all those who are not mothers!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Still waiting.

Wow 37 weeks pregnant. I am ready for this baby to introduce itself to the world!

Lynn hosted a great baby shower for me. It was a little overwhelming having that many people in the house, but it was great and with everything we got we are done with the big baby things we need. Now we are just waiting for the things that come up that we don’t even know about.


I cannot wait to meet the little one and wrap them in the blankets and dress them in the clothes I have! So again a big thanks to Lynn for the amazing shower!!

After the shower we took Lynn and Jay out to supper, but we stopped at Shubie Park for some pictures since Lynn has a great camera and ours is just a typical point and shoot. So another big thanks to Lynn!


Sleeping has got to be the most difficult thing when you are this far along. I can fall asleep but between waking up for the bathroom and waking up with my  hips in pain I don’t manage a long stretch at a time. Also I am not comfortable no matter what position I am in for very long, my butt hurts if I sit too long my back if I lean, my legs if I curl them up. While I really haven't minded being pregnant (except for the nausea) these last few weeks are the worst. I can’t bend over forward very far and Dean is often chuckling at me as I try to move around the couch or the bed.

I also wasn’t sure if being off work was going to be a benefit or a curse but I think it’s been a good thing. My mind has gotten to the point where I am ready for this baby and not worried about the woulds and coulds, it will be what it will be and we will be great parents no matter if we make some mistakes along the way!

So to Baby A; come out soon and meet the world!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Hormonal explosions!

Gah, what a day!

I went into work to finish up a few things and pass off some others. Truth is even though they haven’t filled my term yet they seem to have moved on without me… this was a little upsetting as I would like to think alot of what I do in my  job is special and difficult to do by anyone else. But alas it seems I will not be missed. The hardest to accept about that is that I consider the people at work friends, but I don’t see them outside work so I guess it isn’t the same.

When I got home I was sort of bummed out and wasn’t really into doing much. I just sort of lounged around and then completely broke into tears, I mean a full on sob fest. I have alot on my mind but I didn’t think I was that upset. So I blame alot of it on my hormones. This pregnancy seems to be going on forever and the hormones are definitely showing themselves in more than just my emotions. My skin is starting to break out again which was happened alot in the first trimester. I only hope that after baby it settles down.

I am starting to get excited about my baby shower and trying not to worry about how many people will be in my house. I plan on relaxing that morning and hopefully I will stay relaxed and enjoy my time. Dean  has told me not to worry about anything and that I can just sit and talk to people, so hopefully that will work.

So here is to a relaxing weekend and a great week!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Off for a year?

Wow a month ago I was complaining about waiting for everything, and while that still is the case for the most part, I am no longer waiting to go off work. This Monday my doctor finally signed the papers to put me off work. Now that being said she did it very reluctantly. I worked alone on my unit one day, and I thought I was going to die. I was weak and dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out. I decided then and there that even if my doctor wouldn’t put me off I would be changing my date to start my maternity leave.

So now I am off with 5 weeks until my due date. I plan on relaxing after this week finishing up work stuff and getting my EI in order and all that stuff. I feel pretty good about it. Deans schedule has been far from similar to mine and I haven't seen much of him. So being off I plan on spending some quality time with him. I also plan to get some food made up for the weeks after baby is born. I can still drive and am grateful for that. I think I will probably be able to until I give birth. Not that I will be going to too many places.

My last baby shower is coming up this weekend. I am excited for it, but also have some worry. There will be alot of people there and alot of people I haven't seen since Moms funeral. I know that with each passing day I think about her more and more. I would love to know how she felt when she was as big as I am and what she experienced. I have very few pictures of her pregnant and almost all of them are of her in billowy dresses so really I don’t even know how big she got.

Overall I am feeling pretty good. A little anxious about when I will go into labour, what it will be like, how it will feel. But overall I am alot less worried about looking after a baby than I was. I think we are ready to be parents and I just overall cannot wait to meet this little baby squirming around inside me!