Friday, December 31, 2010

Friday Night In

Happy New Years Eve, unfortunatly Dean is working tonight and tomorrow morning, so instead of ending the year with a bang, we will be starting the year with a bang. We plan to celebrate tomorrow, having a few drinks and watching movies!

The good thing about today is that it’s the first day since Monday that I am staying in. I am very excited. Here’s what my night will include;

SAM_0932My plans involve watching something chick flick like, reading and cross-stitching. I am reading the third book of The Dark Tower, by Stephen King. I am really enjoying them so far, it is a mix between fantasy and sci-fi. My cross-stitching is a very massive project, the biggest I have ever done. It is slow going but I am happy to see progress!

I might even have a drink or two while waiting for my hubby, but I doubt we will see the ball drop or any thing like that. I also have a feeling some cleaning might get done before settling in.

Happy New Year Every One!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Financial Feelings

It’s finally a sunny day here today!

Just a few thoughts on money and budgeting today.

Hubby and I have been in our house now for 3 months, and I thought money was going to be a big strain. Truth is it isn’t as bad with a well worked out budget. When we first moved in it took about a month to get it all figured out, and now we  have it down pat. We are even paying more into debt re-payment then needed if you follow Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s budget plan. Over all I am happy with the way things are going on the money front.

Next up is Christmas spending. Who spends too much at Christmas time? Everyone I am sure. Going into December we knew we had alot of events coming up (family and friends birthdays, my own birthday, Christmas parties and shopping ect.) We had decided to not pay as much into our debt for the month of December and even said if we had to use some credit that would be ok. Well when I budgeted the books on the 26th everything worked out, without going farther in debt! I think we are pretty awesome for that to happen! Now it has been hard getting back to following the budget but we are slowly getting there.

Do you budget, if you do do you follow it?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Working the Holidays.

100_0521If you don’t know I am an RN. And not only that but I am also a CL (Clinical Leader). Which is basically a fancy name for charge nurse. It is the reason that I work Monday – Friday, 7 – 3 and never weekends, most holidays (unless I want) or evenings and nights. Pretty amazing job for an RN right?

Well yes, and no. I work in long-term care and most days love my job. I laugh almost every day and have made alot of good relationships. But lately it’s been getting to me. I have 33 residents (or patients) which also means 33 families to nurse. I am responsible 24/7, I carry a cell phone that could ring at any time, and while I might not need to go into work I can’t just ignore it either. I also have around 20 staff I am responsible for. This means discipline and mentoring, and over all making sure they do their jobs. 

So there is the background for my job. The holidays at work are fun, we decorate our unit and play Christmas carols until we dream about them. We get loads of goodies and junk food, and have special functions both for the residents and the staff. We get the residents all dolled up and see many of them go home for a few days with their families if they are able.

It is also sad. Many families don’t come in, many families don’t even leave gifts. This leads to the residents being sad, and the staff being sad for the residents. It’s hard to be happy about that, and it makes you think of your family. Now that Christmas is over, things will be going back to normal, but for me in my role normal never really changes, things just get added on. Our routine stays the same weather it’s Christmas or not, my job is still there waiting for me when I get back. I may be lucky in some ways but to have the lives of 33 people on your hands 24/7 it’s hard and very tiring.

My job lately has been exhausting, while I love it I am aware that nurses have a high burnout rate, and if I don’t slow down I may very well become burnt out. I try very hard not to take work home with me, but some days it’s hard. Also for a nurse it is hard for me to lose weight. There is always food around, weather it is something a family brought in of a bag of chips a co-worker bought. I find that the most challenging of all!

How do you deal with work stress??

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Physical Damage

Well good afternoon, I weighed in this morning to look at all the Christmas damage, in all I gained back 4.6lbs. It is more than I had wanted but I am done worrying about it and am back to tracking.

Speaking of, did you know that three little mini cupcakes is 10pts? Well you do know, and so do I, ugh problem is that all the Christmas goodies are still at work and it is hard for me to say NO!

I am feeling the strain of being full of sugar and junk though, I am sluggish and going up my stairs is a challenge at times. But I am really hoping to get out for a walk 5 nights a week and work out 3 afternoons a week. My ultimate goal is to get to the point were in the spring I can start running outside. I have thought about running alot, and even though it’s not my favourite thing, I don’t hate it, and it’s one of the cheapest things to do!

Well that’s about it for today, I just hope know I can stick with this and lose the weight.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Christmas, Moving on.

I hope everyone had a safe and happy Holiday. No snow here and honestly little holiday spirit to be had due to family events, but over all we did pretty good and have some money for the boxing day sales.


Moving on to other events. I will be weighing in tomorrow and am honestly terrified to see the results. However with that weigh in comes a new turn, back to counting, weighting and watching what goes in my mouth. I do plan to have a few treats on New Years and there is a possible dinner out in the mix, but I will get through the week and see a loss.

My mind is set on this once and for all. I was looking back at my resolutions for last year and although we are now in our house and have a good budget in place, I am not at all physically better than last year nor am I ready for a baby. We did talk about it last night and there are some things we want to accomplish and do before a baby comes into  our lives. It is time to get out of my head and start acting instead of just thinking. My brain is always on overdrive and I over think everything, usually leading to not accomplishing what I wanted to do.

Mentally I am at a stand still and I really need to get past the negative thoughts and emotions I have been having and get back to the postive side of things. My life is good and really have nothing to complain about, but because of that I am comfortable in my body more than I should be. When I look at pictures I am horrified and next holiday season I want to be happy with what I see in the pictures!

I plan to start walking again this week and then getting into the other exercising after that.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

So Close :(

There was one thing I would have loved for my birthday. When I first re-started WW this time I said I would love to lose 10 lbs by my birthday (this coming Monday). As you can see on the side it did not officially happen. 0.2 freaking pounds away! Now Dean says it could still happen “unofficially” but based on the food I ate and plan to eat in the next few days I don’t think that will happen. Oh well such is life and at least it was a loss.

I fully except the scale to go in the opposite direction next week, but this will be the worst of the holiday season I think. You know it is the Christmas season at my work when the chocolate starts showing up. In fact we get so much at this time of year that we keep some put away so everyone can have some. Yesterday it was Quality Street, which is probably my absolute favourite! Today was my work’s annual luncheon where management serves everyone, so I had a full turkey dinner. Friday is out work Christmas party which is a buffet and oh so good! And finally Monday is my birthday dinner.

This time of year is very hard, and I so far have tracked everything I can remember eating. Even if I go over my points at least if I track it I will feel ok with it all. Next week I only have to worry about Christmas dinner and the junk that lays around work. All I know is that I can do this and I will do this.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The New Weightwatchers Plan

Well alot of people have been commenting on the new PointsPlus plan, so I thought I would share my thoughts and feelings after being on it about a week.

First I gained one point, I went from 28 to 29 points a day, so that was not a huge change. For me it has always been a struggle to stay within my points on days I work. I am much hungrier and also pack more and have access to all the bad stuff. At home I usually do ok, and occasionally dip into the WAP’s for a glass of wine or plate of nachos. I have heard some people gained like 5 and 6 points from the new system, which must be great, I know it would be for me! Basically this hasn’t changed my eating in a way that I am now not going over or not being very careful with supper and after supper.

Second fruits are 0 points. Well ok, I was really excited about this at first. I don’t eat alot of fruit but I do eat enough that I thought it would make a difference. My husband couldn’t understand how they could make fruit 0 points due to the sugar in them, but while reading through the material we saw their “disclaimer” of sorts, saying that eating too many fruits and vegetable may slow down  your weight loss efforts.

Thirdly everything else went up! While all fruits went down it seems everything else went up in points. I played around with the point tracker last night and found that the only thing that is still “good” is the fibre. So while calories don’t count against you as such anymore, everything else does. I find it very frustrating. My main example is Subway, while my sub I normally got was 7 points it is now 10! That’s a big jump. I have noticed for the most part things are jumping 2 points up in the difference. So overall I am at more of a deficit this way.

Forth, I am an online WW. I got to a point that I could guess pretty accurately what the points of products would be while I was out shopping, now not a clue, and from what I understand people that go to meetings are being told they have to buy a calculator. I do not agree with that at all and it makes it alot harder to go shopping and find good foods to buy. Also being an online member I had access to lots of restaurants and products in the tracker. Now most of these are gone, including Starbucks and Subway. This also makes it very hard to go out anywhere to eat!

Finally I am not in love with this new plan, it seems to me that they made it more difficult for people to eat anything but fruit and veggies, which makes it harder to pack lunches and in the end more costly, especially in the winter. Only time will tell if I am successful on this plan but it is hard for me to think positive about food right now when I feel everything is worse for me!

Of course these are my opinions and it is my choice to stay with the program or not, I am aware that some people probably love the new plan.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Shopping Week

Wow we have done a bit of shopping this week! Our bank account is happy for all the action!

Tuesday after I had a bit of a voice back (yea it is mostly back!) we headed out shopping for clothes for the season. We hit up Moores for Dean. It was buy one get one free on designer suits so we ended up with two. It was a really good deal and we also got him two dress shirts and cufflinks! I am very proud of him because when I met him his suit size was a 40 and now it was a 38! His neck size has also changed alot too! Then we headed to MicMac and went dress shopping for me. I ended up finding one at Rickis. However we will have to wait for pictures of it. I also got a pair of shoes!

Then today I went Christmas shopping for Dean, I ended up getting most of my list for him with some money to spare. It wasn’t too bad out there this afternoon either.

Saturday is The Nutcracker and I am super excited for it, can’t wait!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Lost and Found

Wow, I always have so many ideas I want to blog about, and then never get around to it. So I will warn you this may be a bit of a marathon post.

Well another week has gone by, and I am here at home sick :(.

First I am going to show you the pictures of the tree up and my village, we are finally in the Christmas spirit and it feels good!


My village set up on the Bar.


The Tree!

We got the tree at Costco and it’s perfect, might put it in the corner next year, we will see.

SAM_0854And since we are talking about the holidays I had my first holiday festivity this weekend. I participated in a cookie exchange! It was my first time undertaking a project like that and I must say I feel it was a success…  Thanks to all the ladies who participated and to Tammie who hosted the event. That is a little sample of what was made, the rest is safely in the freezer for if/when we have guests.

So I mentioned I was home sick, well I totally lost my voice Saturday and it is just today slowly making its return. I went to an On-Call Doc yesterday and it’s just laryngitis, but because of my job, I am not able to work and not talk, I assume by tomorrow I will be able to work and have a relatively normal voice.

Talk about losses; I lost another 2 lbs! I really wasn’t excepting a loss based on all the junk I had eaten over the weekend but I was pleasantly surprised. Also as all WW’s know the new plan rolled out yesterday. I am feeling good about it, but kind of nervous at the same time. I won’t really be able to start activity again until the weekend but hopefully by then I will be feeling good and ready to tackle it all.

So there ya go, not to long I guess, this weekend we are going to see The Nutcracker, and I hope to get my shortbread baked and my Christmas shopping finished up. Have a good week!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Wow, is it real?

Well for once I am blogging when I wanted too. Life seems to get in the way, even though there isn’t much going on.

So the Christmas decorating is done for another year. Our tree is very pretty and I feel rather festive. There will be pictures to come, just haven't got there yet.

I weighed in yesterday to see another loss on the scale! Now I can go get my eyebrows waxed as a goal reward. I have been looking forward to the 6th for a while now since it will see the new changes of the program. I feel mostly in control.

Yesterday food wise wasn’t great because Dean is sick and we both fell asleep leaving us to order something. I may have overdone it, but tracked and moved on. I would love to be out of the 180’s for my Birthday, but we will see.

I really need to start looking for something to wear, and Dean needs new dress clothes too. Christmas and this month are always super busy! We have 4 birthdays, plus the  holidays, it is expensive and nutty!

A big shout out to Lynn and her Hubby who are celebrating their wedding anniversary today!

Well that is about it, I guess I kind of rambled alot, but my mind is very unorganized lately. If i don’t write things down I tend to forget them and I can’t even speak right lately…

Monday, November 29, 2010

Alot to catch up on!

Wow it’s been over a week and I fully intended to blog since Tuesday. Last weekend we did indeed go to Pete’s SAM_0790where I found my all time favourite Christmas Tea! I had it for the first time last year and went searching and couldn’t find it anywhere, then over the summer realized that Pete’s sells the brand so I knew it would be there, and it was just as good as I remember it! Last weekend also involved our first snowfall and I did indeed bake more cookies!

Tuesday brought around a loss on the scale! And I have worked out/ walked pretty much everyday this week. I am enjoying my flex points but that is what they are for. I also see that new changes are on the horizon for the Weight Watchers program. They start next week so we will see what happens with them.

This weekend we finished up our Christmas shopping for the family, I baked mini brownie muffins (which went stright to the freezer), and we got out the Christmas decorations. We got a good start yesterday and will probably finish up this evening.

I weigh in tomorrow, and I am feeling really good about it, I am glad I re-joined WW because I now am feeling in control again which will no doubt help me through the holiday season!

Friday, November 19, 2010

A Quick Week Re-cap

Well I can admit I am struggling with Weight Watchers. Through the week some Timbits, Cheesies, and Pizza have shown up in the mix. Although I have tracked them and moved on it is still hard at the end of the work day and I have 5 PTS or less to work with for supper. I am horrible at controlling my eating at work, I have known this for a long time. Another issue is that being a nurse everything is usually about food. The girls often bring in goodies and there is usually a bag of chips or box of choclates. It sucks!

I can predict that I will eat better over the weekend while I am off, however I will indulge in some wine I think! It is so much easier for me to eat at home, I don’t become as hungry and I have more choices. Packing food for work is hard and I tend to eat it all if I bring it, so it is hard for me to have options!

I have also notices some things about weight watchers online that I don’t like.

  • They don’t have alot of brand names in their database.
  • They don’t have alot of junk food in their database
  • Points seem more than calories!

I mean take today for example, we were looking for something for supper, we were looking at things that were about 300 calories per serving, which didn’t seem too bad, but when I do the math its 6 or 7 pts! Seems like alot when you do it that way. I don’t know I know there are changes coming to the program and I can only help things will change for the better!

Plans for the weekend include introducing activity back into my life (my ankle is feeling alot better), cleaning and hopefully a trip to Pete’s Frootique. I may also bake but we will see!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Welcome Back, hrclark!

Well here we go, I have a huge confession of sorts, I am totally unsure how I feel and I hope writing it down can help me figure it out. Remember my Guilty little secrets post? When I said Part of my brain says “oh we won’t really crack down on weight loss until the 190’s”  Well it happened. Last night me and Dean were talking things over, and really my mood is much better. The only thing that is holding me down in terms or self image and respect is my weight. So this is what I did;


Yep I joined Weight Watchers online… again. I weighed in and I was… are you ready for it… 190.0 lbs. I almost cried, I laughed, I think I may have been in shock. So I went through the process… sucky. Then Weight Watchers has this lovely little feature on there side that saves you past data and I happened to be a member of Weight Watchers in November of 2008. I weighed in at… Can anyone guess? Yep 190. So there you go, in two years I haven't lost any weight. Wow that really sucks. So my plan is to do this and make it work, I am not sure how yet, I don’t feel in control, in fact I am feeling totally out of control but hopefully in a few weeks I will feel that control again! I mean I have enough health problems, I am short of breath alot, I have low iron, low B12, low energy, I have joint pain, and while not all of this may be due to my weight, alot probably does!

Well that is it for me, hope everyone is having a good week.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Oh What a Night(s)

Hey there everybody! What a weekend! I have had a great few days off and I am very happy I took tomorrow off to!

My vacation was very productive. I already told you about my cleaning adventures and I am happy to report it was all good!

Friday night we hung out with Lynn and her hubby, Dean made an awesome stir-fry and we sat and talked and relaxed, had a few drinks and a great time!

SAM_0757 SAM_0761 SAM_0766 SAM_0775

Kitty even got in on the action!

Saturday I was a bit sleepy but had stuff to do anyway. I made a batch of my slow cooker chilli and cleaned house for another friend to come visit. All around busy fun! Today I was very productive, we made hummus for the first time ever.

SAM_0784I had it with my veggies for lunch. This is Cumin and Black pepper flavour, and I got the recipe from Betty Crocker. Dean wasn’t a huge fan but I love it! It made enough to last a bit too which is good. I don’t like mayo so for me I use hummus as a spread on wraps and sandwiches.  It was so simple this will be a recurring thing. I normally don’t care about packaged goods, but I get bored of the same thing, so I will experiment with different spices and see what happens.


SAM_0780 Also today I made Snickerdoodles. Basically they are cookies with cinnamon sugar on them. I thought I should get my Christmas baking started since I don’t have any other real time off before Christmas. However I would like to say that I am not in the Christmas sprit yet… at all!

Over all I had a great few days.

I have been putting alot of thought into joining WW again. I know there are some changes that are going to come around really soon and I am thinking that might be a good time for me to jump back on the band wagon. I did weigh in today and was down, but I still feel its very difficult for me to get in the right mindset to lose this weight. I haven't made up my mind yet, but that is one thought that is floating around in my head!

The other thing is I twisted my ankle over the weekend and have been hobbling around on it. It felt much better today and we went to the mall but after about an hour and a half it was getting swollen again and throbbing like mad! So limited exercise for me, which sucks because it was the one thing I was being pretty consistent with!

Hope everyone has a good Monday!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Feel good day!

Hey everyone, I am one of the lucky ones that made the holiday on Thursday turn into a long weekend, actually I took Monday off too so I have a 5 day weekend!

Yesterday I spent as a me day. I did 30 minuets of yoga with Bob Harper on The Biggest Loser game. And I can tell ya I am sore today! I also picked up my mom’s dog.


She is meek and mild, and a huge wimp. She has had two “accidents” since being here. She is totally stressed but I think today she is coming around a bit. We went for a great walk last night with hubby and I went for a solo one with her today! But let me tell you my wonderful cat doesn't like the dog being here. I mean they know each other as we lived with mom for over a year, but he was growling and going on like a possessed beast yesterday. But today he was just sooking up to Daddy in the sun!


Yesterday the rest of the day was reading, and cross-stitching. I decided to start watching Grey’s Anatomy from the beginning on my weekends, I enjoy doing that while cross-stitching. Dean got off early yesterday so we went out for supper instead of staying in.

Today I was a cleaning machine! I worked from about 830 until 1130 non-stop. I am beat! And speaking of cleaning Angie has a great giveaway on organic cleaners going on right now!

It feels so good for me to have stuff done off my to-do list. Also I have plans with friends tonight, and my aunt tomorrow. Dean is off Sunday and Monday with me so we will see, I would like to get our Christmas shopping out of the way since we have to ship our gifts to the in-laws!

I have been in a pretty good mood this week, I got my blood work done, and I was started on a new inhaler and I am starting to notice a difference in my breathing, which effects soo much! Well I guess that is it to share right now, hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Today Remember…


Do you know what that is? It’s a poppy, we where it today. Today is Remembrance Day, the day we are suppose to recognize what the military and veterans have done for us. It started with the first world war, and continues today with the “War on Terrorism” over in the middle east. When I was younger there wasn’t a year I missed going to the cenotaph and watching people lay wreaths and crosses or laying them myself. I was a Navy Cadet first, and even walked with the veterans holding a flag down from the local legion to the cenotaph. That was a cold grey day, and I remember thinking my hands were going to freeze. Then I moved on to Girl Guides. I remember sunny days and rainy days, but I really think all were cold days. It wasn’t until last year that my own friends and family come to mind when I think of everyone who has fought for us and our freedom. One is here and the other is not. One is a friend who I went to high school with. He has done a term in the middle east and has forever been changed by that expiernce.

papa's obit

The other: My grandfather, while he didn’t serve in a war, but he was in the Navy, another experience which also forever changed him, and his whole family. My Dad remembers him being away alot, he had a strict upbringing and he was proud.

Today I remember. When I was a child I did not understand what it meant to remember, I didn’t have anyone to remember. I was always respectful but didn’t understand. I took today off, sure it’s a great excuse to sleep in and not go to work, I even made it into a long weekend. But as the 11 o’clock hour hit, I had tears in my eyes and thought in my head and heart.

So please take a moment to remember who you may have in your life who has been impacted by war, or the military forces, without them where would we be?

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Guilty little secrets

Well another weekend is over. I have had a weekend and week full of struggles. I am really struggling with finding myself, which is what this blog was meant for in the end. I don’t want this to be a “weight loss” blog. That is never what I intended. But the truth is so much of my personal struggle revolves around my self image and weight. I don’t feel good in my own body. Secret #1: Part of my brain says “oh we won’t really crack down on weight loss until the 190’s” How crazy is that? And yet it is my internal talk. I feel completely mortified that I would think that way. But also some of me thinks I am happy where I am at some of the time. I know my husband loves me, I know my friends (what little I have) love me for who I am. To the people that matter I could be 400 lbs and they would still love me. Except I wouldn’t love me, and I don’t now either.

And that brings me to another thing. Secret #2: I am a loner. And I don’t really think of that as a bad thing. I could name on one hand my friends. I know they are real friends and that is important, but also lately I have been craving socialization. I am alone after work and on Saturdays, and while sometimes I really enjoy that alone time other days I just wish I had more friends so I could have plans.

And last of the confessions Secret #3: I play Farmville on Facebook. Haha, yea lame I know but it passes time and is sometimes cute and interesting.

Well that's all of my little secrets today. What are some of you guilty secrets?

Today I started working out. I did the Biggest Loser game. a 25 minuet boxing routine and a 5 – 10 minuet challenge. It was fun but I am exhausted. I have a feeling my arms and calves will be cursing me tomorrow!

We also went through the Christmas stuff to see what we wanted/needed for the house. The top of the list is a new Christmas Tree. We were able to get rid of a box of stuff for donation! And after going through that we are now fully unpacked and purged of all the junk! It feels really good.

After lunch we headed to Dartmouth Crossing and found a coffee table and end table set. We got them from JYSK. We also looked at a nice Dining room set, but that will have to come later!

Now I am waiting for supper (hamburgers) and very upset that it is dark out at 5:00. Its a short week for me as I have Thursday and Friday off! I plan to work out tomorrow when I get home from work! I will let you know how it goes!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Is there a Dr in house?

This morning I was up early and out to the Doctors. Nothing really wrong just a check-up. However what sucks is that my doctor is 40 minuets away. I really want to find one closer to home, but I am hesitant too because I don’t know anyone who has a doctor in the city. So after driving 40 minuets and waiting 50 I was in and out in 5. Good thing my mom lives close so the trip wasn’t totally wasted.

I had a good visit with Mom, helping her with some things around the house. I love that no matter how long I am way it is still home, still “my room” and I can still feel 100% comfortable.

I got home around 3 and as much as I wanted to have a quick workout before Dean got home I could barely keep my eyes open. Next thing I knew it was 5:00 and Dean was home.  We headed out for supper tonight, wend to Jack Astor’s. We waited for about 30 minuets before getting a table, but then got one right next to the kitchen which was interesting to watch.

Now I am home sipping on some wine, chilling with my wonderful husband.

Plans for tomorrow involve working out, weighing in, and maybe opening a Christmas box. And this brings me to another topic. It is too early to be decorating for Christmas? There have been things around facebook and twitter to have courtesy and respect and not to put lights on and decorations out until after Remembrance Day. I totally agree with this, I can understand the malls and shops having Christmas things out but I think at home it’s too early. We usually start when the Parade of Lights is going on.

So when is it appropriate for Christmas Decorating and Christmas events?

Friday, November 5, 2010

I have found the motivation!

Well boys and girls I think I have the motivation back… Last night we went and bought the Xbox Kinect. It is similar to a Wii and uses all movement. Along with it we also bought The Biggest Loser, Ultimate Workout. I just did about 20 minuets of it and I am sore today! It felt good to be sore again. I really think this will motivate me because I plan to do this after work. That means no more naps for me!

My eating still isn’t great but I know if I can focus on exercise that I will lose weight!

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I am looking forward to figuring out my blood work and all that. I am hoping everything will be ok, but I really think I will need to be on supplements the rest of my life.

What else do you do for motivation? Do you focus more on what you eat or exercise when you are trying to lose weight?

Oh I with there was a simple way to change your life!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Walk it off!

Hello hope everyone is having a good week! I am having an ok week. Yesterday was better than today, but I am now feeling better.

The past 2 days I have been tracking and even though today I slipped and bought some greasy food I was with in my calories! I guess that is the advantage of doing things slow, because I am not restricting my calories as much as I have in the past. When I look at my B12 and Iron intake though they are lacking, it’s not hard to see why I need to supplement with pills!

I have also gone for a walk for the past 3 days! I am very happy to be exploring my new neighbourhood. There seems to be some varying degrees of wealth/property around my area. We are in a duplex, and all around us are other duplex’s. But yesterday when we walked there were houses, but not too fancy and today ho! There were some houses, we are talking probably $500,000 homes. But it’s nice to see it all and dream about maybe one day moving up into them! The walking is also really helping with the stress levels and my sleeping. I only wake up once though the night and am able to fall back to sleep fairly quickly.

That's really it for me lately. I have been reading before I go into work in the mornings. Working my days, which have been a bit stressful this week! And coming home and reading again, or cross-stitching. We have been watching Angel the past few nights and it’s nice to be in a routine! 

Monday, October 11, 2010

Crash Forward

Wow Happy Thanksgiving everyone, we had our dinner yesterday and it was yummy! Mom came over and Dean did all the cooking. I am truly thankful for having such a wonderful husband who will do pretty much anything to make me happy.

I did do something yesterday I shouldn’t have done… I stepped on my scale. It wasn’t pretty. I have pretty much gotten back to my weight of 2 years ago. I held it together yesterday, really concentrated on what I wore and being happy that I was spending time with my mom. But in the back of my mind I kept thinking about it. This morning when I woke up I knew something had to change, I can’t wait until November like I had planned, I would hate to see the scale if I waited that long! So this morning I made a new account to Sparkpeople. I had breakfast while setting my goals. Truth is I plan to take my time and do this the right way.

After breakfast we finished hanging pictures and unpacking. Every last box in this house is gone! I am so glad that we can just relax for a bit now and find a routine not that everything has a place! Lunch rolled around and I totally lost it. I wanted to have some cheese (still do actually) but looked at the NI and freaked, why does cheese have to have so many calories! Really what I think happened is a sort of grieving. I had just sort of pushed the number the scale said away but really didn’t deal with it. Well it hit me today, I got mad I yelled and then I cried. Dean and all his wonderfulness helped me though it and I feel better now.

We have gone for a 50 minute walk and I wore my HRM and tracked my calories. It is a very nice day out and I am glad I could enjoy it. Even if walking up the huge hill at the end almost killed me! Its back to work tomorrow and I am sure after being off for four days all hell will be waiting in my inbox!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

What Flavour are you?

I am waiting for hubby to come home and after doing everything I wanted to accomplish today I thought I would post.

I only started blogging in 2009. I started blogging because friends of mine where and said it was a great way to be accountable. I don’t feel this way, I do feel blogging is a good way of getting thought and feelings out. I also use it to share success. I have changed alot since 2009 but never thought of this as a “Weight loss blog” or even a “Healthy living blog.” It is simply my blog, me taking it one day at a time, posting when I want, and sharing what I want.

To say I wasn’t influenced by others would be a lie. There was a time I got upset because I didn’t have alot of followers or get alot of comments. That has since passed. Alot of people in blogland have either stopped blogging or talked about not blogging or changed the way they view blogging. For me I will continue sharing my experience to finding a better me. I guess I would count as a “Healthy Living blog” and maybe even a “Weight loss blog” but I don’t see me that way. I am what I am and I am thankful for the followers I have and the comments I get. It is nice to know someone is out there!

That is all, but maybe think about what flavour blog you have and see if it’s what you really want. I am definitely more a journal then anything else, I just write to an audience. Even if it’s just my self in a year or two!

Ok now onto the glories of today!

This morning I used our central Vac for the first time, its a thing a genius! We have laminate floor throughout but totally beat sweeping with the broom, plus it was fun to chase that cat around with it!

After cleaning I decided to have some fun, bring in the hobbies!


Other than my hobbies on the computer I also love reading, cross-stitching and playing video games! I was at one time cross-stitching so much that I made a blog, but I since had lost the motivation to work on my projects. Well today I picked up all three hobbies!

I cross-stitched this morning and watched Anne of Green Gable The Sequel. By the end of it I was in tears, I am such a softy.

After that I had some lunch and then decided to try out my soaker tub. Let me tell you that thing is beautiful. I sat in a bubble bath for about 40 minuets reading my book. It was sooo relaxing! After my bath I headed back downstairs to get the Xbox 360 hooked up to the internet, after doing that I played around for a bit. Now I am getting chilled and waiting for hubby to come home. Not sure what is up for tonight but I was thinking maybe going out and getting some Starbucks unless he brings me some home!

Tomorrow we are having our Thanksgiving dinner and my mom is coming over. I am excited to show her the house now that all our stuff is mostly put away! Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Quick and easy update!

Hey everyone, I am finally glad to say today is the first day I don’t feel the pressure to do a whole lot of stuff.

We are almost unpacked and really all that's left is for pictures to go up. Of course we have a whole lot we want to buy but that will take time. Also I finally have the internet back so I don’t need to worry about going to Starbucks to pay the bills! Today we need to go get groceries again and other than that I am not doing a whole lot.

I am happy to say I am physically worn out. We have not stopped since closing day and we have 3 flights of stairs in our house! I think my legs will be in shape. What did bother me was that doing those three flights up was exhausting. Now I did have some sort of lung infection before moving in and I am hoping that is was that. It has gotten easier now but wow, I need to get active again! I have been taking my vitamins everyday and have even tried to up my Iron to twice a day, I only hope that when I go to the doctor later in the month everything will be in the right spot. Eating has been rather up and down, while Dean cooks healthy and we have eaten lots of fruit and veggies there have been a few slips at work. But such is life and I am moving on. I haven't been tracking anything and I haven't stepped on the scale but until we are in a routine those things would only create more stress.

Mentally Dean and myself are fantastic. Getting out of my mothers basement has been a huge change. I am more alert now, and care more now about things I didn’t really care about before. I am stating to want to look good again and I have not had an “episode” of utter depression and self loathing since we have been here.

Well that is it for today, I am happy to say I am relaxing will probably get my book out soon.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Starter Home

Well the post you’ve all been waiting for… Ok maybe not but I’ve been waiting to post it! My new home, my new lease on life, and my new way of thinking.

So its October 1st and I have been thinking about weighing in alot… I am going to hold off. I know what the scale said before I moved and I know that I gained weight. I will wait until November 1st to weigh in. The thing in that won’t take very long. Dean has been very good at making sure we bring in good things to our house and not processed junk. He wants to eat right and exercise and develop a good routine. Me too so it all works!

Ok so pictures. We bought a 3 level 4 bedroom semi-private, I already can say there are too many stairs!

SAM_0719Kitchen with Dining room behind me,

Living room which is also where all our stuff is so far,SAM_0720

SAM_0728 basement bedroom, or Caspian's room, and probably future exercise room!





Upstairs bathroom,SAM_0722

SAM_0724 Our bedroom (love the colors!) and no that is not our permanent bed, it is a single we bought from the owners and that is what we are sleeping on, its been tight but cozy!,




basement laundry and bathroom. SAM_0727

The other bedrooms are just bedrooms but I have before pictures so I can compare with the finished product!. So there ya go, so far we have the kitchen unpacked and our clothes are hanging in the closet, of which is amazing with shelves and organizers… plus a additional walk in closet!

Well since this will be posted from Starbucks hopefully today I will leave you there. The rest of our big stuff comes tomorrow and I am sooooo excited!! I will be in touch!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Weekly thoughts.

Good evening everyone, well the count down is on. For me it’s the countdown for moving, which also brings the re-launch of my blog. All I really said before is that I was focusing on myself. Well that is because somewhere in this mess of life (approximately in the last year) I have lost my sense of self. I have relied too much on what other people do, say and think and have not been able to get out of that.

So now that we will be in a new house it will be the start of a new journey. I will be focusing on alot of things, some more than others at first. Some of the major topics are;

  • My Physical Health – I am anaemic and have B-12 Deficiency. I need to get them fixed! I also have weight issues that cause me to be unhappy with my self image.
  • My Mental Health – I have had seasonal depression for a few years now, but I am very certain that due to circumstances I have developed a more chronic depression, I want to kick this in the butt with out medication.
  • Work Life – I have never really talked alot about work, but it is a huge stressor for me and I need to let off some steam in this area.
  • Finances – well we are buying a new house so of course this will be a challenge. Lots of people say the first year is the hardest!
  • Hobbies – I have a lot of hobbies, reading, video games, and cross-stitching being the most enjoyable. I hope to include a bit of everything into the blog with some reviews and progress pictures.

Well there is a brief overview. If you interested in any or all stay tuned. I have what I think are some exciting things lining up for my new routine!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Coming Soon

Just wanted to let everyone know that I plan to re launch my blog on Oct. 1st. It will focus on finding myself! Stay tuned for all the fun!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Giveaways, Awards and Stress Eating.

Good Evening, I have a few things to do.

First there are two great giveaways I want to talk about.

  1. Crystal over at Bye Bye Fat Pants is giving away a inspirational bracelet. Check it out Here.
  2. Katie over at Her Inner Shine is also hosting a giveaway for a great gift certificate. Check it out Here.

Next up I have been  nominated for The Versatile Blogger Award.


The 3 rules:

  • Thank the person who gave you the award
  • Share seven things about yourself.
  • Nominate fifteen newly discovered blogs. Let your nominees know about the award.

So a big thank you to Jenny at Diary of a Fat Girl on Her Way to Being a Healthy Girl!

Seven things about myself:

  1. I am an only child (so is my hubby).
  2. I used to be a highland dancer (yes with the kilt and all that).
  3. My aversion to exercise comes from being rejected from the junior high cheerleading and soccer teams (that is a new realization).
  4. I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
  5. When The Titanic Movie came out I researched alot of information on it.
  6. I have an office at work… I don’t use it much, and its very empty.
  7. I am a huge stress eater…

Now to nominate some people… This may prove difficult.


Ok That is done. So now the topic of the day. Stress Eating.

I know I am probably the most guilty stress eater out there. And I also know alot of my trigger stresses now. But let me tell you that buying a house is a huge stress for me. Its the waiting. I am always thinking about what the house looked like, where our stuff will go, just the excitement of being out of my mothers basement! Then there is the scary stuff like, how much money everything will be, changing our routine, moving. So much stress!

Hubby and I have decided that eating and exercise will be less focused until we get into our own house then its down to business. I am so lucky to have a husband who wants to exercise with me and cook good for me. I cannot wait!

So do you stress eat? What are your stressors?

Sunday, August 8, 2010



So if any one follows on Twitter, you will have seen me yammering about house inspections and closing dates. I’ve been purposely not posting because other than this exciting endeavour there hasn’t been too much going on.

So that is right everyone Hubby and I are buying our first home, and last night there was a sold sign outside the house!!! To me that made it all real! Our closing date isn’t until the end of September which will seem like forever!!! Our cute little love nest will be a semi-detached 4 bedroom (room to grow for little ones). We fell in love with it as soon as we saw it. And yes there are a few pictures although I was busy with the house inspection (which went very well), and forgot to take as many as I wanted.

SAM_0650 SAM_0653

Back yard and Kitchen, the two selling factors… just joking it was the total package.

So we have been busy with running around to house inspections and signings, and calling people. Its All so much work but really I just can’t wait to get in with out own stuff and settle down.

51 Sleeps!

Sunday, July 25, 2010


Wow it’s hard to believe a whole week went by. Even though it seemed slow while I was working. So this is my 201st post. Hard to believe. I tried to get the motivation to blog yesterday but when I looked at it I found it kind of hard to think that in the year and a half I have blogged I don’t have a whole lot to show when it comes to my success.





I guess I notice the pudgy in the tummy gone a bit, but the weight is still about the same. I also wish I could say I felt good, but to be honest alot of time I don’t. I have had 4 pretty good days. Today I had a few moments of crappy thinking but over all I am trying very hard to stay positive and focus on the good things.

I think I have figured out my food plan:

  • Track using Spark People.
  • Stay within 1200 and 1550 calories as recommended by them.
  • I will track starting on Sundays
  • I will weigh in on Saturdays
  • If I LOSE weight I will not track on Saturday

So why will I not track on Saturday you ask? Well I have found from previous experience that I don’t do well tracking ALL the time. I find that I get sick of it. I will of course eat well and try the best, but I will allow some treats on Saturdays. So this week I will be focusing on that and then next week I will look at an exercise plan.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Deans whirlwind birthday weekend

My Husband is a quarter century old! (I’m not far behind him though).

After a long day of Dean working, and me shopping with my mom we headed to Lynn and Jason's to start the celebrations. We had a great BBQ of hamburgers, sausages, corn on the cob and potatoes. Me and Dean were drinking Sutter Home, our favourite white zinfandel. We chilled out, and had some birthday cake.


Unfortunately it was in my car a little long and it was +38 degrees Saturday so it melted a little bit. It still tasted good though. Dean definitely wanted a good cake and I hope he enjoyed it even though it melted. At least he didn’t ask for Ice-cream Cake!

We watched and movie and went to bed. In the morning it was Sunny! Just as we had hoped. Lynn made a great breakfast of scrambled eggs, home fries and French bread. After we digested and it got hotter we headed to the beach. The great thing about living on the Eastern Shore is the beaches and it’s even better when you know a few non-provincial ones. This beach has a lake on one side and then over a dune there is the ocean. It was high tide so no ocean fun was to be had. But we did step into this lovely lake.


The water was pretty warm and we got a nice refreshing swim in. We went home in time for a light lunch and Dean opened his gifts. Then we got ready for a nice dinner out. Soon enough it was time for pictures and piling into the car.


  SAM_0628  Don’t we all look good dressed up. Its rare we dress up and go somewhere. It was lovely!SAM_0622

  We were originally going to go to Il Mercato, but it was closed. So we scoured the city and finally deciding on Upstairs at Salty’s. The food was wonderful and they also had my favourite dessert ever; Blueberry Grunt!

Over all it was a wonderful weekend and today I was back to work.

My plans for this week include trying to figure out what I am going to do with food/exercise and I hope that will help me find some motivation. Other plans include going to the beach in the evening if it’s nice and relaxing and spending time with my wonderful Husband! Hope you had a good Birthday Hun!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Look At What I did!

So yea all that crap about being positive, I am taking a day off. Today the scale showed me a number I NEVER wanted to see again. But if I am going to be honest with myself I will add that part of me wanted to see if just eating would make me gain weight, or if I would maintain. Well I figured it out. I gain weight, which means for the REST of my life I will have to monitor what I eat. So to be honest I haven't decided what to do about it all yet other than CHANGE! I completely had a breakdown last night while I was trying to find something to wear to Dean’s birthday dinner. I have said to myself all week “I feel bloated” well no it’s just plain fat!

What do I want?

  • To lose 20 lbs ASAP (yes I know it doesn't all come off fast)
  • To be able to enjoy and crave exercise or activity.

That is all, it seems so fricking simple and yet I cannot make it happen. I know what and how and why and all that stuff but can’t seem to just do it. Gah I should scream.

Ok I am going to stop ranting now and try to figure stuff out!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A Day For The Beach

Well good evening, in an effort to be healthy I am trying to stay up a bit later and enjoy my time at home instead of pretty much coming home getting ready for the next day and going to bed.

Today was over all a good day. I did however have to fill out WCB papers. Yes I may have hurt my back. It feels ok right now but it didn’t earlier and just in case I wake up and can’t move tomorrow I filled them out. Hopefully nothing comes of it. I also had my education course today which focused on the last part of “Interpersonal Communication.” It was very educational and apparently I am not horrible at speaking in front of groups.

It’s the first day it’s been sunny and not foggy down here on the Eastern Shore and I really wanted to go to the beach, but getting home late and eating supper even later I didn’t think it would happen. But…


  Yep I made it there! It was sunny and beautiful and I enjoyed every minuet of it. We even had Ice-cream on the way down. I had moon mist and it’s been a long time! We went to Martinique Beach. There were surfers there and lots of people walking the beach. Here’s a fact; its the longest beach in NS and is 5Km long. We didn’t walk that far that is for sure, but it was a nice stroll with good conversation and the water my feet went in wasn’t too cold (once they got numb).

It is definitely time for me to hit the sack though, I will probably read a little and tomorrow is Friday! Which will kick off my Hubby’s Birthday Weekend!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Taking care of Massage

Well no post yesterday. Why? Cuz there was an elephant in my head. I stayed home from work because I had a huge migraine and really just couldn’t handle work with that. So my day was spent pretty quietly. And because I didn’t do much when it came bed time I didn’t sleep well. Oh well that is that.

Today at work I had a pretty good day, I got some positive feed back and felt good about the day. Then I did something I have never done before… I got a Massage! The massage itself was pretty good, I couldn’t say I was relaxed but it felt good. She did warn me I will be sore tomorrow because apparently I was very tense (well if I am really stressed that makes sense). The experience over all was a good one and I will be going back very soon. I also found out that I apparently have a subluxated rib. Which pretty much means it’s out of place. Now I don’t have pain with this which is good, and I also hear it’s pretty common in women. So it also means I may have a chiropractor in my future.

How do you feel about a chiropractor?

I have heard many things, good and bad and am a little afraid to go see one.

So that was my day, I have a long day tomorrow and am looking forward to the weekend, it’s Hubby’s birthday and we are celebrating!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Its a manic Monday…

Ok so my excitement over the weekend included a self pedicure


Eew my feet are gross with out nail polish!

Followed by some baking. I attempted a Hungry Girl Recipe yesterday.

SAM_0570      SAM_0574

It was super simple. 3 ingredients (pumpkin, brownie mix, and peanut butter). It didn’t turn out wonderful but it’s alright, I definitely expected better. So I will stick to my yum yum brownie muffins.

So that was yesterday. Today a different story. It was work, which was super busy and crazy and made me really want to look at why I do this job. But we are staying to the positive so here it is.

  • The Makay bridge was closed but I wasn’t late even though I had to detour.
  • I was busy and didn’t spend the day eating away like I sometimes do.
  • I got home to a wonderful husband who made me amazing food, as always.
  • I am now home in my comfy’s and have no real plans.

The only thing I am lacking is exercise, but it’s foggy here already and after the mind boggling day I had today I think it’s ok.

Well on to a new day tomorrow!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I’m back, and better than ever!

Ok so I have a new layout and a new theme. Positivity! From now on no more negative thoughts allowed on this blog. I will dedicate my time on the blog to finding the positive things in life, even if it’s as simple as I am still alive! But hopefully there will be more than that!

Just a quick update since I’ve been away almost a month. Nothing has really changed, except my attitude. I was very hung up on living in my mothers basement, the fact that we really can’t afford to get out, and just the general differences in lifestyle that me and my mother lead. Well I had a minor breakdown one night (ok maybe major) and the next morning I just decided it wasn’t worth stressing over or hiding over. So I am trying to be active in the day to day goings on and trying to be productive.

So there you go, next up is what I want to focus on to make me happier.

  • Activity – I need to be more active, it’s just not enough to sit here every evening and lounge around.
  • Food – I haven’t yet decided how “dedicated” I want to be to the “healthy eating” thing. I already eat well, I just indulge more than I maybe should. But the truth is I love my food! I am still working through this one.
  • Me – I am important, I lead a floor of 19 staff and 33 residents, I need to look good and feel good. I have my first massage booked for next week and I have decided that I will try to keep up my appearance.
  • Money – The light is at the end of the tunnel and we can see a glimmer. We got some news that we may be able to get a mortgage earlier than we had hoped, so for now it’s stick to the budget and save, save, save!
  • Relationships – I have some good and some bad. I feel my husband and I have a really good relationship. It is key for me to keep it up and work on it even if it doesn't need it. However I also have some strained relationships and I need to learn to either speak up and let it out or accept people for who they are. This is definitely a work in progress.

So there you go, a bit of everything. My main thing is to stick with the positive so if you ever see negative talk that I don’t acknowledge let me know!

Monday, June 14, 2010

I am not an inspiration.

holly It’s that simple. I read some blogs and people are so positive and truly inspirational. I am not. This is not a bad thing, it is just how it is.  To the right is the newest picture of me. Do I look bad? I didn’t think so that day. But looking at it now I see a tummy and a chin, they don’t make me happy. Some days I don’t care… that day I didn’t. But today I do, I saw myself at work and was not happy with how I looked. I saw myself at home with one of Deans sweaters on and I was not happy. I have an addiction to food. I cannot limit myself. I also have a problem getting my ass off the couch. I know inside that if I got my ass up and worked out 5 days a week I would loose weight. But I honestly don’t know why I can’t seem to do that. I cannot seem to find motivation in anything.

Basically what I am saying is this; some days I can live at this weight and some days I can’t. Does that mean someday I eat well and work out and someday I don’t? Those aren’t very good habits are they?

I am so sick and tired of feeling back and forth with this weight loss. This is by far one of my hardest things to deal with. I just wish I could be happy and not do anything or get motivated and do something about it. Anyone have any insight into how to find some motivation?

Ok enough about this negative crap. Here is the positive. Dean and I got out for a small walk and ice cream tonight. I find it really helps to get out of our basement for a bit in the evening. (The ice cream is good too!) Also work was a good productive day, tomorrow I am on education which I enjoy, but I don’t enjoy getting off at 5 in traffic! Also in the positive category tonight is the amazing meal  Dean cooked tonight;


Pulled pork Sandwiches with homemade BBQ sauce and turnip fries with Curry dip!   Yummy!


And the last always positive thing; my kitty. He is lying in a very weird position which is normal for him… any one else find it weird?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Words from a girl

Wow that weekend flew right by. I can tell you I have a love/hate relationship with my weekends. I love not working but hate being board. I hate not having a house to take pride in and not having errands to run. I am just really frustrated with everything lately and honestly I’m making myself sick with all the negative crap.

I didn’t weigh in today because I was at Lynn’s I also haven’t tracked today or since like Wednesday. I didn’t eat bad though, and people keep saying that I look like I am losing weight, not sure how that happens since the number won’t change.

My weekend was pretty relaxed and I enjoyed it for the most part. Me and Dean have some stuff to work though and it’s been alot of talk and stuff so this week will be intense I think.

Work wise this week is also crazy busy. I am on course Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday. I also have my performance appraisal Friday… not really concerned about that I know I try my hardest at my job.

So I see my week as being busy and I just hope that by the weekend I feel better. I can only hope.

Here’s for a good week!

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I have a quickie post for you to share some random thoughts;

  • I had Boston Pizza for supper tonight… the meal was ok, the time spent away from home with the hubby was worth every cent.
  • Hubby totally broke my mouse for me laptop, so I now have a pretty new wireless blue one.
  • Interpersonal communication is very important.
  • So is relaxation.
  • I might possible work 16 hours tomorrow so I can make an extra 200 dollars.
  • Taxes suck.
  • If we follow the budget we should be out of here in 10 months…
  • 10 months is a very VERY long time.

And now it’s off to bed. Thank god tomorrow is Friday!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The walk and the Ice-cream

So today I almost had a panic attack. I was driving home and completely got short of breath and really nervous. I made it though but it was difficult. I have a few reasons which may of brought it on but not one event in particular.

After supper I got a phone call from some good friends who love me and are concerned about me. I really appreciate it! Thanks!

After supper me and Dean went out for some ice cream and a walk.


The first one of the season! And then because I am apparently not an ice cream cone expert it landed on the ground :(

SAM_0444But I then had something to laugh about and enjoyed the walk all the same. 

SAM_0442Two more work days left! I cannot wait for the weekend. I haven't been sleeping well and just want to sleep all day long. Hopefully I will sleep good tonight since I didn’t nap!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Ups and Downs… Ins and Outs

Ugh. Today has been up and down. I worked 16 hours yesterday so I could get today off and spend time with my husband! Now that he’s working we don’t have a whole day off together very often and it was nice to wake up and not have to go anywhere.

Breakfast was really good, Dean made us egg Sammie's with tatziki(sp) and cucumber. The combination went really well. Better then I thought it would originally. We chilled around until a bit later and then headed into the city. We shopped around at Costco and stuff.

When we got back home I was again in a crappy mood. The truth of the matter is I am not a happy person here. This place is just not a happy place for me anymore and it is effecting my mental health and physical health.

So we have started looking for places to live. Any suggestions would be fantastic. Only thing is Dean wants a Washer and Dryer in unit/house!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Could this be it?

I am so sick and tired of saying that this week will be it and re-motivating myself. I was up a full pound this morning. Today I had an awesome day. But tomorrow it could be completely different. I am going to try very hard to track everyday. I will also be trying to walk 4 days a week.

Today I walked for 30 minuets. But the worst of it is that when I came back all I could smell was Mom’s cigarette smoke which to me almost deprives the point of trying to be healthy if I am sucking back all the second hand smoke! Sooo Frustrating.

So here is for a good week ahead for everyone.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Relay for Life 2010

Wow what an event. If anyone has ever faced Cancer think about making 2011 your year to Relay.

Last year I was walking in honour of my Papa who was still fighting. This year is was in memory. And that is why I walk. I walk in honour of my Father-in-law who fought and won. And I will walk next year and the year after that and the year after that.

This year I was with Scotiabank “Banking for a cure” thanks to my oldest friend. Who as of this morning raised a total of 5,390.00.


And of course Lynn and I got to meet Tash who joined our team this year.  And Lynn was one of the top fundraisers! Go Lynn!


For me other than the Luminary ceremony the biggest things that stick out this year are;

  1. They sold out of Luminaries – that is both wonderful (means people are buying them to raise money) and sad (means there are that many people affected by cancer)
  2. There was a little girl and her older sister who both cut their hair and I think were donating it to Locks of Love.

Then the Luminary Ceremony. It is so touching and so emotional that I get teary eyed still thinking about it. For any one who can't do all night events even if you just fundraise and stay for this event… It will truly change your life.

SAM_0437I also want to say thank you to Jamie who  brought us caffeine when we needed it. Also to Scotiabank who will match some of our donations and to everyone who participated and helped make this event possible. We are all Heroes!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Where is the motivation??

Wow I have no motivation, I wish I knew how to find some or get some. I really evaluated my look at things. Here are some questions I asked myself;

  • Am I happy in general?
    • No. This is not only due to my weight but also due to my living situation and work. I am very nervous to admit that I have alot of issues, and because I haven't worked them all out in my own head yet I can’t get into them too much.
  • Am I happy with my weight?
    • Yes… and no. I am not happy with the number on the scale, or the BMI. I am still considered obese. However most days I am happy with the way my cloths fit. I don’t think I will ever get to the goal of a “healthy” BMI but I would like to lose more weight. Especially when today someone asked me if I was pregnant… No I’m not!
  • What do I want to achieve?
    • I want a healthy lifestyle with healthy habits.. this I have not achieved yet. I want to be able to teach my kids the right way to do things and let them be active and I want to be active with them. I also want to increase my confidence… which has been pretty low.
  • Is it worth it?
    • I guess the real question here is if I am worth it. Honestly the place I am in right now is scary. And alot of my thoughts are negative and I am doubting if I am worth it. I know the right answer is I am worth it but believing it is the hard part.

Wow so after that crazy rant there ya go. I said I was going to be honest and there ya go that is honesty in it’s crazy ranting thoughts.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The real world is time consuming

Wow time flies when you are busy. And that is what I have been. Went back to work and haven't stopped. Thursday I had a workshop until 5 and that meant I didn’t get home to close to 630. I will be doing that for a bit every couple of Thursdays and it’s going to be brutal. Friday I did an extra 8 hours strictly for the money! It doesn't grow on trees and if we are considering moving I want money for some new stuff!

Needless to say Friday was right to bed when I got home. Yesterday was sunny and warm! Me and mom went for some groceries and then sat on the deck. I made some Chicken for supper (BBQ’d) and then we went and hung out with Lynn and her hubby.

Today is rainy and cold. So I am curled up on the couch after getting things tidied up and a roast in the slow cooker.

I also stepped on the scale today 175.8… We bought a new one because WW is coming to an end soon and I didn’t trust my other one. So now every Sunday is weigh day. I am in no rush to loose these 20 lbs (my goal is about 145) but I would like to see a negative number from that scale more than once a month!

Other than that gearing up for another week. I am hoping to work extra tomorrow for Tuesday off and then I am off Friday because of the Relay for Life! Hoping to stay on track and get some stuff going on that is picture worthy soon!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Back to the real world

Well tomorrow it’s back to the real world. After 5 days off 4:40 will be hard to wake up to… It was a beautiful weekend and I am a little darker than I was at the beginning of it. But not burnt which is good.

My weekend was spend outside for the most part. Well at least yesterday.


















Yep we spent most of the day out on the front lawn in shorts and relaxing listening to music. I really couldn’t have asked for a better day spent with my honey (my husband, not the dog, lol).

Today was spent running some errands and relaxing around the house. We went for a walk and had a really good supper out of the Canadian Living Magazine.

I am doing sparkpeople again, we will see how that goes. I am still very unsure about everything, and my mood is still very up and down but I may be on the mend.

Hope everyone had a good holiday and has a great work week!