Monday, June 14, 2010

I am not an inspiration.

holly It’s that simple. I read some blogs and people are so positive and truly inspirational. I am not. This is not a bad thing, it is just how it is.  To the right is the newest picture of me. Do I look bad? I didn’t think so that day. But looking at it now I see a tummy and a chin, they don’t make me happy. Some days I don’t care… that day I didn’t. But today I do, I saw myself at work and was not happy with how I looked. I saw myself at home with one of Deans sweaters on and I was not happy. I have an addiction to food. I cannot limit myself. I also have a problem getting my ass off the couch. I know inside that if I got my ass up and worked out 5 days a week I would loose weight. But I honestly don’t know why I can’t seem to do that. I cannot seem to find motivation in anything.

Basically what I am saying is this; some days I can live at this weight and some days I can’t. Does that mean someday I eat well and work out and someday I don’t? Those aren’t very good habits are they?

I am so sick and tired of feeling back and forth with this weight loss. This is by far one of my hardest things to deal with. I just wish I could be happy and not do anything or get motivated and do something about it. Anyone have any insight into how to find some motivation?

Ok enough about this negative crap. Here is the positive. Dean and I got out for a small walk and ice cream tonight. I find it really helps to get out of our basement for a bit in the evening. (The ice cream is good too!) Also work was a good productive day, tomorrow I am on education which I enjoy, but I don’t enjoy getting off at 5 in traffic! Also in the positive category tonight is the amazing meal  Dean cooked tonight;


Pulled pork Sandwiches with homemade BBQ sauce and turnip fries with Curry dip!   Yummy!


And the last always positive thing; my kitty. He is lying in a very weird position which is normal for him… any one else find it weird?


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. I think that sometimes we lose motivation for our goals when they seem too big for us to handle. Like for example, if you've been at a particular weight for a very long time and it seems like it's going to take so many HUGE changes and a whole lotta time for you to get where you want to be, we tend to think "what's the point?". It's not that we don't want to change, but in the moment we give up because we feel like there is no hope. I think it helps to make smaller changes than to think of the bigger picture...take things one day at a time, set a daily goal, maybe just do a tiny bit more exercise than you did yesterday but don't change the food yet, because it is just too hard to change everything all at once. If you really want to change your life it will happen but it takes time, patience, and small achievements that add up. I know you can do it!