Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Where is the motivation??

Wow I have no motivation, I wish I knew how to find some or get some. I really evaluated my look at things. Here are some questions I asked myself;

  • Am I happy in general?
    • No. This is not only due to my weight but also due to my living situation and work. I am very nervous to admit that I have alot of issues, and because I haven't worked them all out in my own head yet I can’t get into them too much.
  • Am I happy with my weight?
    • Yes… and no. I am not happy with the number on the scale, or the BMI. I am still considered obese. However most days I am happy with the way my cloths fit. I don’t think I will ever get to the goal of a “healthy” BMI but I would like to lose more weight. Especially when today someone asked me if I was pregnant… No I’m not!
  • What do I want to achieve?
    • I want a healthy lifestyle with healthy habits.. this I have not achieved yet. I want to be able to teach my kids the right way to do things and let them be active and I want to be active with them. I also want to increase my confidence… which has been pretty low.
  • Is it worth it?
    • I guess the real question here is if I am worth it. Honestly the place I am in right now is scary. And alot of my thoughts are negative and I am doubting if I am worth it. I know the right answer is I am worth it but believing it is the hard part.

Wow so after that crazy rant there ya go. I said I was going to be honest and there ya go that is honesty in it’s crazy ranting thoughts.


  1. I can totally relate to this. I wish I had more to offer but just know that you are not alone.