Inspiration

Wow time flies. It’s been over a week since I last blogged. For me it has been a rough week, which is why I probably didn’t blog. I find if I don’t have anything nice to say I am best not saying anything at all. I had a self sabotaging week last week. I tracked until Friday but just didn’t make good choices and really let myself down. I am so close to the 170’s and I just can’t kick my ass out of the 180’s. Part of me thinks I am scared of being able to say I lost 10 lbs. Which I know is stupid but my brain just isn’t working right these days.

That is another reason I haven't blogged. I have spent too many evenings the past little while stressing over things and letting the smallest things get the best of me. I am considering going to my doctor to see what she can offer for help but at the same time I don’t want to be put on drugs if I don’t need them. I am really trying to focus on one issue at a time and just do what needs to be done without worrying.

It feels good to get some of that off my chest. I stepped on the scale this Sunday and saw a gain, but between TOM and my self indulging I wasn’t too bothered by it. I also had a huge success Sunday. We went out for brunch for my Grandmother and Cousins birthday. I ended up eating like 20 points for lunch! I was really pissed off at myself because I wanted to try so hard. But me and Dean changed our meals around and I ended up staying within my points! I was so proud of myself. Another thing for me to be proud of is that I haven't had junk food at work for the past 2 days. This is huge for me and has inspired me to continue. I only hope I am not jinxing myself.

Well off to have some supper and enjoy my evening with hubby.

I love days off!

Wow I love days off, especially with my husband! One reason is I end up with breakfast that looks like this;

That is French Toast, with peanut butter and banana and and apple. It was soo good. So yesterday I had mentioned we were heading out to the health expo. To be honest I was a little disappointed. I found there was alot of things there that didn’t interest me in the slightest. Plus there was alot of people there which made it hard to talk to the vendors and get to the booths. I did manage to get some swag and fill out some ballots for things.

Did you know it is apparently the most depressing day of the year? Well it wasn’t for me. I had taken today off and we spent most of the morning cleaning. I love days off because I feel like I am in so much more control of my eating. Both Sunday and today I have gone over my Daily points but I don’t feel guilty about it because all my choices were good ones. I did go to the store and buy a chocolate bar or a bag of chips.

We went for a walk this evening, even though it was cold and I didn’t want to go, but that’s why my Husband is amazing. He knew that after eating our big chicken dinner we should go for a walk. This was the amazing bird we ate tonight with all the fixings!

It’s back to work tomorrow and I am going in with a good frame of mind right now. I only hope I can keep making good choices and not eating junk food. It is so tempting at work because it is so easy to get, weather I buy it myself or some one offers it to me!

I hope everyone is having a non-depressing day!

Another one down.

Well another pound gone, another week over. I have been wanting to blog but haven’t been able to get what's in my head out in a way that makes sense. I can’t figure out why I want to lose weight, the only thing I can think of is that I have wanted to for so long and I keep “giving up” and I feel like I failed myself. I am not happy with my body some of the time and the rest of the time I am indifferent. I rarely have a day that I say “wow I feel hot” day, and those days I do once I see pictures I don’t think I look good.

So I am feeling good today. I am tracking again, not sure how much longer it will last. My online runs out in February and if I don’t feel motivated then I might cancel my subscription and take a break or count calories or something. In exciting news though we are heading to Optimyz today! I am excited to be doing something a little different for a change. I also have tomorrow off so I will be able to relax tonight and not feel like the house work didn’t get done.

Honesty

I pride myself on being a very honest person. I speak my mind and say what I mean, I very rarely beat around the bush. Which is probably why when I am feeling crappy and having a bad day I don’t blog. I don’t like to sound negative and I don’t want pity, or hearing things that while might mean to sound supportive but only sound fake to me. (no offense intended, I say those things to others too).

The truth is I am really struggling with the question WHY?

• Why am I trying to lose weight.
• Why can’t I lose weight.
• Why do I find it so hard to lose weight.

I am sure there are more questions that start with why by those are the three I find myself asking alot. You would think the first question would be easy. I am unhappy at my current weight. Which is true… some of the time. When I look at pictures of myself I am unhappy with my weight, but on a day to day basis I don’t feel “fat”. I have a husband who loves me no matter what and I work in a job where it is not necessary to look a certain way at all. So the next reason might be for myself… or because I know I am unhealthy, truth is although I am classified as “overweight/obese” I don’t feel that way. I look at other people and don’t feel different than them. It is a real struggle for me to continue on this journey of Weight Watchers and losing weight if I don’t have a strong sense of why I want to lose weight. And that right there answers the other two questions!

I really don’t know what I am looking for. I don’t know if I want to continue on this journey or not. I get so quilty when I eat something “bad” when I am on WW. I get so mad at myself because I know what I should be doing… so why am I know doing it??? I think all this information is up in my head somewhere but I am not being 100% honest with myself as to the whys of my life!

Pictures, and Results!

Wow, it’s been a busy week. I’ve been meaning to blog the past few days but it’s just been crazy. Thursday we went out and I got a new slow cooker! I have been using my Grandmothers for years, it is literally older then me! I got a Hamilton Beach Slow Cooker. I used it for the first time yesterday and made the “Garlicky Chicken Stew” out of the newest WW cookbook. As with most recipes it was ok but there are definitely some things I can do to make it better next time!

Friday was spent getting groceries and relaxing on the couch. Yesterday I went to Value Village, with my mom. I scored a great pair of heeled boots and a few shirts. I really enjoy going to Value Village, when I am in the mood.

I also finished up working on my picture box. A few years ago for Christmas Dean gave me this awesome picture box. Well the plan we came up with was to put a whole year of pictures in it. So every January I print off pictures and put them in the box. I keep the ones I want in a separate folder all year. This year I printed them at Costco, it was so easy and pretty inexpensive. It takes some time to sort through them but I love doing it. I take the pictures from the following year and put them in a photo album, this way I am printing off my pictures, even if it’s once a year. Something that alot of people don’t do anymore due to digital pictures.

Today is snowy and the roads look to be a mess so I think we will be staying in and cleaning. Then we will probably put a movie and and relax. I weighed in this morning and was down a pound. While I know that is great I thought I would do better because I exercised more and followed my points. Oh well start again today with tracking everything and exercise. Should be some good points coming my way with the snow I will have to shovel. Hope everyone has a good week!

Routine

What time do you wake up in the morning?

I get up at 5:25 in the morning, that is gross when you have to do it 5 days a week. But I have my routine so down pat that I am ready and out the door by 5:55. I shower in the evening and lay everything out before bed. I make my lunch the night before and have everything ready to go!

We also have a very good evening routine, we have supper, go for our walk and then relax until bed. Sometimes I think it’s boring and crappy but most days I like it.

Do you have a routine you like?

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In other news we have walked everyday since Sunday! That is great for me, it’s cold and crappy out but we are still walking! Tonight I even wore snow pants, and my hat and my hood, but I was warm. Its also a great time for us to talk about all kinds of stuff, and just walk the day away.

Positive vs. Negative.

Are you a positive thinker?

I used to be, and then something happened. I can’t really say what it was, I don’t really know. There are alot of things I could think about to associate with my lack of positivity. Truth is thinking about those things now doesn't help me feel better, only worse.

I hate to admit that I am a negative thinker, but I am. I think badly of people and am over critical. I usually see the negative side of things, my glass is half empty not half full and I am always thinking that I am going to fail. I need to change this, in a major way, so I am really trying to listen to my thoughts and if they are negative then try to turn them around. I can succeed and will!

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In other news I wanted to share last nights supper with you. Dean was home yesterday and made an amazing meal, complete with garnish and everything. It really pays off being married to a chef!

So here we have Pork Tenderloin, Twice Baked Potato, Mashed Sweet Potato, and Sweet Potato Soup.  It was deeelish!

Tomorrow’s hump day and I am excited that I am still doing so well and feeling well.

Back in the Game!

Holly 2, Fail 0. I am back in the game. Both yesterday and today I have tracked everything I ate and exercised. I weighed in yesterday at 182.6. I changed my weigh in day to Sunday to make it easier for me. I am feeling really good right now!

My plan for now is to work out harder 3 evenings a week when I get home from work, we also plan on taking a 40 minuet walk every night we are not running errands (probably 4 – 5 nights a week). Once the spring hits I might start running, but for now I am using The Biggest Loser Ultimate Challenge for Kiniect, XBOX 360.

My only hope/goal is to see a decrease in the number 3/4 weeks (taking into account TOM). I know I can do this, I have been in the 170’s before with success, its getting past there that I will really have to crack down.

Hope everyone’s Monday went well, as it’s a first day back to work for many! I know mine did!

Welcome 2011 and New Resolutions

Hope everyone had a happy and safe New Years Eve. As I said yesterday we are celebrating tonight when hubby gets home.

Becuase it is the first day of 2011 it’s only normal to have a few resolutions or goals for the new year. Lets review what I accomplished in 2010 first. My last years resolutions can be found here. The short list is;

• be in our own house
• budget and have a good savings plan
• RUN the bluenose 5K
• be healthy enough to have a baby.

Well I did pretty good.

We bought our first house and we are very happy in it. Being here after a few months we are seeing alot of the things we want to change, I was amazed at how easy the whole process was! Take my initial tour here.

We were able to get our house because we have a good budget and savings plan, I am very happy with our financial situation right now and we plan to continue with our budgeting and saving!

While I didn’t run the Bluenose this year I did run MOST of a 5K, posted here.

When it comes to a baby, my doctor says with taking my supplements and vitamins that my blood work is as good as it is going to get. So that is good. Me and Dean were talking about a baby a few days ago and have decided there are a few things we want to do/purchase before having a baby, so that is on hold for a while now.

So there was 2010, now moving on to 2011.

My main goal is to find myself. Which was the purpose of this blog back in October. For the most part this means being happy in my own skin, which will involved losing weight and becoming more active. I really don’t want to set myself up for failure and I think while this has been my goal for so long, I know it’s obtainable and I know I can do it if I just set my mind to it!

Hope everyone has a wonderful 2011, and accomplishes some of their dreams!