Well here it comes again. The desire to say F*** it and quit this stupid tracking food crap and counting calories. I know it works, I am seeing it work for alot of people. But it is not working for me! I have not lost anything since I started tracking. Now it could be that I am building muscle, it could be that I am losing inches. But in all honesty I don’t believe it. Sure I am stronger and I feel better physically. But mentally I have seen very little success so therefore feel like I have not accomplished anything.
The real problem lies in the fact that I become obsessed with food. I want to eat and then I do but then I feel bad. I over eat and then beat myself up over it all day long, even though I am still within my calories. I get hungry around 8:00 and want a snack, knowing that I shouldn’t. I want to give up and just say screw it for the night.
This is not a new struggle, it’s a constant struggle. I cannot find that balance between knowing what to eat and having to think about everything I eat. I cannot find that inner voice that turns food down. I just get so frustrated with everything about tracking and counting. Part of me always just thinks if I exercise I will lose the weight. Clearly that isn’t happening, but my mind still thinks it. I am just at the point where I don’t feel like I can do this for the rest of my life. Which I know I will need to do, at least somewhat,
So what will I do… I’m not really sure, but at least I have gotten my feelings out.
It's always good to vent it out-because in way-you just had an argument with yourself. :)
ReplyDeleteYou say you aren't seeing the scale move, but you admit you are stronger physically and feel better. And really-when it all comes down to it-that's MOST important long term-our health.
I know you "aren't" supposed to eat after a certain time-but you know what? I do. I go to bed at midnight +, so for me, 7pm to cut off isn't comfortable for me. If you want a snack at 8-have one. Just pick something with protein. And on the healthy side. Maybe it'll even be incentive because you know that it's coming-and won't feel you need to eat more at dinner? Also-if you eat "a lot" at lunch, but aren't over? Then who cares! Take that as your main meal of the day, and have a smaller dinner!
For me, this can't be about dieting. I still need to eat crappy stuff sometimes, and good stuff most of the time. I'm still going to have a few drinks or eat cake. LOL It's moderation and balancing it. Yes, it's annoying sometimes. But, I go back to my health and that's what I'm looking for...long term.
Lastly, I don't know how much you want to lose-but when I met you-you didn't look overweight to me at all. So, could the other possibility be that you don't have much to lose, so it's slower for it to come off?
It sounds like you know the answers, you know you're doing something good, but youre frustrated. Trust me-we ALL get that. We are all just plugging away-day by day...and we'll get better health and strength to show for it!
We're all here for you! :)
You are not alone Holly, not by a long shot. I battle the same sort of feelings. The thing that keeps me going is I ask myself, "Will I be happy with my weight if I stop? Will I want to 're-start' again next week and will stopping just set me back even more than whatever the snack was that I had/wanted?" The answer is always, "I know I will be back here again, trying again," so the best I can do give allowances to myself to screw it up, even if it sets me back weeks at a time until my motivation comes back around again because if that's what I need, at least I will get there eventually, right?
ReplyDeleteThe cold hard facts are that weight loss comes with diligent calorie restriction & counting and exercise is really just the icing on the cake. I look at exercise more of a way to be able to eat more and less of a "exercise will help me lose weight" mindset simply because I'm a girl who needs to EAT to feel satisfied and even then, there are mind tricks that have to take place because calorie deprivation is hard on the mind too - it will DRIVE you to want that snack simply because you feel like you really "shouldn't" - at least that's what happens to me.
This whole thing is tough girl, really tough, but you will be soooooooo happy and full of joy when you get there. Maintaining isn't as hard as losing. At least when you get there, you'll be able to eat more!