Walk it off!

Hello hope everyone is having a good week! I am having an ok week. Yesterday was better than today, but I am now feeling better.

The past 2 days I have been tracking and even though today I slipped and bought some greasy food I was with in my calories! I guess that is the advantage of doing things slow, because I am not restricting my calories as much as I have in the past. When I look at my B12 and Iron intake though they are lacking, it’s not hard to see why I need to supplement with pills!

I have also gone for a walk for the past 3 days! I am very happy to be exploring my new neighbourhood. There seems to be some varying degrees of wealth/property around my area. We are in a duplex, and all around us are other duplex’s. But yesterday when we walked there were houses, but not too fancy and today ho! There were some houses, we are talking probably $500,000 homes. But it’s nice to see it all and dream about maybe one day moving up into them! The walking is also really helping with the stress levels and my sleeping. I only wake up once though the night and am able to fall back to sleep fairly quickly.

That's really it for me lately. I have been reading before I go into work in the mornings. Working my days, which have been a bit stressful this week! And coming home and reading again, or cross-stitching. We have been watching Angel the past few nights and it’s nice to be in a routine! 

Crash Forward

Wow Happy Thanksgiving everyone, we had our dinner yesterday and it was yummy! Mom came over and Dean did all the cooking. I am truly thankful for having such a wonderful husband who will do pretty much anything to make me happy.

I did do something yesterday I shouldn’t have done… I stepped on my scale. It wasn’t pretty. I have pretty much gotten back to my weight of 2 years ago. I held it together yesterday, really concentrated on what I wore and being happy that I was spending time with my mom. But in the back of my mind I kept thinking about it. This morning when I woke up I knew something had to change, I can’t wait until November like I had planned, I would hate to see the scale if I waited that long! So this morning I made a new account to Sparkpeople. I had breakfast while setting my goals. Truth is I plan to take my time and do this the right way.

After breakfast we finished hanging pictures and unpacking. Every last box in this house is gone! I am so glad that we can just relax for a bit now and find a routine not that everything has a place! Lunch rolled around and I totally lost it. I wanted to have some cheese (still do actually) but looked at the NI and freaked, why does cheese have to have so many calories! Really what I think happened is a sort of grieving. I had just sort of pushed the number the scale said away but really didn’t deal with it. Well it hit me today, I got mad I yelled and then I cried. Dean and all his wonderfulness helped me though it and I feel better now.

We have gone for a 50 minute walk and I wore my HRM and tracked my calories. It is a very nice day out and I am glad I could enjoy it. Even if walking up the huge hill at the end almost killed me! Its back to work tomorrow and I am sure after being off for four days all hell will be waiting in my inbox!

What Flavour are you?

I am waiting for hubby to come home and after doing everything I wanted to accomplish today I thought I would post.

I only started blogging in 2009. I started blogging because friends of mine where and said it was a great way to be accountable. I don’t feel this way, I do feel blogging is a good way of getting thought and feelings out. I also use it to share success. I have changed alot since 2009 but never thought of this as a “Weight loss blog” or even a “Healthy living blog.” It is simply my blog, me taking it one day at a time, posting when I want, and sharing what I want.

To say I wasn’t influenced by others would be a lie. There was a time I got upset because I didn’t have alot of followers or get alot of comments. That has since passed. Alot of people in blogland have either stopped blogging or talked about not blogging or changed the way they view blogging. For me I will continue sharing my experience to finding a better me. I guess I would count as a “Healthy Living blog” and maybe even a “Weight loss blog” but I don’t see me that way. I am what I am and I am thankful for the followers I have and the comments I get. It is nice to know someone is out there!

That is all, but maybe think about what flavour blog you have and see if it’s what you really want. I am definitely more a journal then anything else, I just write to an audience. Even if it’s just my self in a year or two!

Ok now onto the glories of today!

This morning I used our central Vac for the first time, its a thing a genius! We have laminate floor throughout but totally beat sweeping with the broom, plus it was fun to chase that cat around with it!

After cleaning I decided to have some fun, bring in the hobbies!

Other than my hobbies on the computer I also love reading, cross-stitching and playing video games! I was at one time cross-stitching so much that I made a blog, but I since had lost the motivation to work on my projects. Well today I picked up all three hobbies!

I cross-stitched this morning and watched Anne of Green Gable The Sequel. By the end of it I was in tears, I am such a softy.

After that I had some lunch and then decided to try out my soaker tub. Let me tell you that thing is beautiful. I sat in a bubble bath for about 40 minuets reading my book. It was sooo relaxing! After my bath I headed back downstairs to get the Xbox 360 hooked up to the internet, after doing that I played around for a bit. Now I am getting chilled and waiting for hubby to come home. Not sure what is up for tonight but I was thinking maybe going out and getting some Starbucks unless he brings me some home!

Tomorrow we are having our Thanksgiving dinner and my mom is coming over. I am excited to show her the house now that all our stuff is mostly put away! Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!

Quick and easy update!

Hey everyone, I am finally glad to say today is the first day I don’t feel the pressure to do a whole lot of stuff.

We are almost unpacked and really all that's left is for pictures to go up. Of course we have a whole lot we want to buy but that will take time. Also I finally have the internet back so I don’t need to worry about going to Starbucks to pay the bills! Today we need to go get groceries again and other than that I am not doing a whole lot.

I am happy to say I am physically worn out. We have not stopped since closing day and we have 3 flights of stairs in our house! I think my legs will be in shape. What did bother me was that doing those three flights up was exhausting. Now I did have some sort of lung infection before moving in and I am hoping that is was that. It has gotten easier now but wow, I need to get active again! I have been taking my vitamins everyday and have even tried to up my Iron to twice a day, I only hope that when I go to the doctor later in the month everything will be in the right spot. Eating has been rather up and down, while Dean cooks healthy and we have eaten lots of fruit and veggies there have been a few slips at work. But such is life and I am moving on. I haven't been tracking anything and I haven't stepped on the scale but until we are in a routine those things would only create more stress.

Mentally Dean and myself are fantastic. Getting out of my mothers basement has been a huge change. I am more alert now, and care more now about things I didn’t really care about before. I am stating to want to look good again and I have not had an “episode” of utter depression and self loathing since we have been here.

Well that is it for today, I am happy to say I am relaxing will probably get my book out soon.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Starter Home

Well the post you’ve all been waiting for… Ok maybe not but I’ve been waiting to post it! My new home, my new lease on life, and my new way of thinking.

So its October 1st and I have been thinking about weighing in alot… I am going to hold off. I know what the scale said before I moved and I know that I gained weight. I will wait until November 1st to weigh in. The thing in that won’t take very long. Dean has been very good at making sure we bring in good things to our house and not processed junk. He wants to eat right and exercise and develop a good routine. Me too so it all works!

Ok so pictures. We bought a 3 level 4 bedroom semi-private, I already can say there are too many stairs!

Kitchen with Dining room behind me,

Living room which is also where all our stuff is so far,

basement bedroom, or Caspian's room, and probably future exercise room!

 

 

 

 

Upstairs bathroom,

Our bedroom (love the colors!) and no that is not our permanent bed, it is a single we bought from the owners and that is what we are sleeping on, its been tight but cozy!,

 

 

 

basement laundry and bathroom.

The other bedrooms are just bedrooms but I have before pictures so I can compare with the finished product!. So there ya go, so far we have the kitchen unpacked and our clothes are hanging in the closet, of which is amazing with shelves and organizers… plus a additional walk in closet!

Well since this will be posted from Starbucks hopefully today I will leave you there. The rest of our big stuff comes tomorrow and I am sooooo excited!! I will be in touch!

Weekly thoughts.

Good evening everyone, well the count down is on. For me it’s the countdown for moving, which also brings the re-launch of my blog. All I really said before is that I was focusing on myself. Well that is because somewhere in this mess of life (approximately in the last year) I have lost my sense of self. I have relied too much on what other people do, say and think and have not been able to get out of that.

So now that we will be in a new house it will be the start of a new journey. I will be focusing on alot of things, some more than others at first. Some of the major topics are;

• My Physical Health – I am anaemic and have B-12 Deficiency. I need to get them fixed! I also have weight issues that cause me to be unhappy with my self image.
• My Mental Health – I have had seasonal depression for a few years now, but I am very certain that due to circumstances I have developed a more chronic depression, I want to kick this in the butt with out medication.
• Work Life – I have never really talked alot about work, but it is a huge stressor for me and I need to let off some steam in this area.
• Finances – well we are buying a new house so of course this will be a challenge. Lots of people say the first year is the hardest!
• Hobbies – I have a lot of hobbies, reading, video games, and cross-stitching being the most enjoyable. I hope to include a bit of everything into the blog with some reviews and progress pictures.

Well there is a brief overview. If you interested in any or all stay tuned. I have what I think are some exciting things lining up for my new routine!

Coming Soon

Just wanted to let everyone know that I plan to re launch my blog on Oct. 1st. It will focus on finding myself! Stay tuned for all the fun!

Giveaways, Awards and Stress Eating.

Good Evening, I have a few things to do.

First there are two great giveaways I want to talk about.

1. Crystal over at Bye Bye Fat Pants is giving away a inspirational bracelet. Check it out Here.
2. Katie over at Her Inner Shine is also hosting a giveaway for a great gift certificate. Check it out Here.

Next up I have been  nominated for The Versatile Blogger Award.

 

The 3 rules:

• Thank the person who gave you the award
• Share seven things about yourself.
• Nominate fifteen newly discovered blogs. Let your nominees know about the award.

So a big thank you to Jenny at Diary of a Fat Girl on Her Way to Being a Healthy Girl!

Seven things about myself:

1. I am an only child (so is my hubby).
2. I used to be a highland dancer (yes with the kilt and all that).
3. My aversion to exercise comes from being rejected from the junior high cheerleading and soccer teams (that is a new realization).
4. I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
5. When The Titanic Movie came out I researched alot of information on it.
6. I have an office at work… I don’t use it much, and its very empty.
7. I am a huge stress eater…

Now to nominate some people… This may prove difficult.

1. http://thefatchickweigh.blogspot.com/
2. http://www.alisfattofit.com/
3. http://angiealltheway.blogspot.com/
4. http://backinstep.blogspot.com/
5. http://www.byebyefatpants.com/
6. http://www.embracingbalance.com/
7. http://herweigh.hayne.ca/
8. http://herinnershine.blogspot.com/
9. http://lessofme108days.blogspot.com/
10. http://laurenrecovers.blogspot.com/
11. http://onelastkick.blogspot.com/
12. http://weightwatcher76.blogspot.com/
13. http://gypsygirl74.blogspot.com/
14. http://tashintraining.wordpress.com/
15. http://jen-shrinking.blogspot.com/

Ok That is done. So now the topic of the day. Stress Eating.

I know I am probably the most guilty stress eater out there. And I also know alot of my trigger stresses now. But let me tell you that buying a house is a huge stress for me. Its the waiting. I am always thinking about what the house looked like, where our stuff will go, just the excitement of being out of my mothers basement! Then there is the scary stuff like, how much money everything will be, changing our routine, moving. So much stress!

Hubby and I have decided that eating and exercise will be less focused until we get into our own house then its down to business. I am so lucky to have a husband who wants to exercise with me and cook good for me. I cannot wait!

So do you stress eat? What are your stressors?

SOLD

So if any one follows on Twitter, you will have seen me yammering about house inspections and closing dates. I’ve been purposely not posting because other than this exciting endeavour there hasn’t been too much going on.

So that is right everyone Hubby and I are buying our first home, and last night there was a sold sign outside the house!!! To me that made it all real! Our closing date isn’t until the end of September which will seem like forever!!! Our cute little love nest will be a semi-detached 4 bedroom (room to grow for little ones). We fell in love with it as soon as we saw it. And yes there are a few pictures although I was busy with the house inspection (which went very well), and forgot to take as many as I wanted.

 

Back yard and Kitchen, the two selling factors… just joking it was the total package.

So we have been busy with running around to house inspections and signings, and calling people. Its All so much work but really I just can’t wait to get in with out own stuff and settle down.

51 Sleeps!

201

Wow it’s hard to believe a whole week went by. Even though it seemed slow while I was working. So this is my 201st post. Hard to believe. I tried to get the motivation to blog yesterday but when I looked at it I found it kind of hard to think that in the year and a half I have blogged I don’t have a whole lot to show when it comes to my success.

Then

Now

I guess I notice the pudgy in the tummy gone a bit, but the weight is still about the same. I also wish I could say I felt good, but to be honest alot of time I don’t. I have had 4 pretty good days. Today I had a few moments of crappy thinking but over all I am trying very hard to stay positive and focus on the good things.

I think I have figured out my food plan:

• Track using Spark People.
• Stay within 1200 and 1550 calories as recommended by them.
• I will track starting on Sundays
• I will weigh in on Saturdays
• If I LOSE weight I will not track on Saturday

So why will I not track on Saturday you ask? Well I have found from previous experience that I don’t do well tracking ALL the time. I find that I get sick of it. I will of course eat well and try the best, but I will allow some treats on Saturdays. So this week I will be focusing on that and then next week I will look at an exercise plan.

Deans whirlwind birthday weekend

My Husband is a quarter century old! (I’m not far behind him though).

After a long day of Dean working, and me shopping with my mom we headed to Lynn and Jason's to start the celebrations. We had a great BBQ of hamburgers, sausages, corn on the cob and potatoes. Me and Dean were drinking Sutter Home, our favourite white zinfandel. We chilled out, and had some birthday cake.

Unfortunately it was in my car a little long and it was +38 degrees Saturday so it melted a little bit. It still tasted good though. Dean definitely wanted a good cake and I hope he enjoyed it even though it melted. At least he didn’t ask for Ice-cream Cake!

We watched and movie and went to bed. In the morning it was Sunny! Just as we had hoped. Lynn made a great breakfast of scrambled eggs, home fries and French bread. After we digested and it got hotter we headed to the beach. The great thing about living on the Eastern Shore is the beaches and it’s even better when you know a few non-provincial ones. This beach has a lake on one side and then over a dune there is the ocean. It was high tide so no ocean fun was to be had. But we did step into this lovely lake.

The water was pretty warm and we got a nice refreshing swim in. We went home in time for a light lunch and Dean opened his gifts. Then we got ready for a nice dinner out. Soon enough it was time for pictures and piling into the car.

 

    Don’t we all look good dressed up. Its rare we dress up and go somewhere. It was lovely!

  We were originally going to go to Il Mercato, but it was closed. So we scoured the city and finally deciding on Upstairs at Salty’s. The food was wonderful and they also had my favourite dessert ever; Blueberry Grunt!

Over all it was a wonderful weekend and today I was back to work.

My plans for this week include trying to figure out what I am going to do with food/exercise and I hope that will help me find some motivation. Other plans include going to the beach in the evening if it’s nice and relaxing and spending time with my wonderful Husband! Hope you had a good Birthday Hun!!

Look At What I did!

So yea all that crap about being positive, I am taking a day off. Today the scale showed me a number I NEVER wanted to see again. But if I am going to be honest with myself I will add that part of me wanted to see if just eating would make me gain weight, or if I would maintain. Well I figured it out. I gain weight, which means for the REST of my life I will have to monitor what I eat. So to be honest I haven't decided what to do about it all yet other than CHANGE! I completely had a breakdown last night while I was trying to find something to wear to Dean’s birthday dinner. I have said to myself all week “I feel bloated” well no it’s just plain fat!

What do I want?

• To lose 20 lbs ASAP (yes I know it doesn't all come off fast)
• To be able to enjoy and crave exercise or activity.

That is all, it seems so fricking simple and yet I cannot make it happen. I know what and how and why and all that stuff but can’t seem to just do it. Gah I should scream.

Ok I am going to stop ranting now and try to figure stuff out!

A Day For The Beach

Well good evening, in an effort to be healthy I am trying to stay up a bit later and enjoy my time at home instead of pretty much coming home getting ready for the next day and going to bed.

Today was over all a good day. I did however have to fill out WCB papers. Yes I may have hurt my back. It feels ok right now but it didn’t earlier and just in case I wake up and can’t move tomorrow I filled them out. Hopefully nothing comes of it. I also had my education course today which focused on the last part of “Interpersonal Communication.” It was very educational and apparently I am not horrible at speaking in front of groups.

It’s the first day it’s been sunny and not foggy down here on the Eastern Shore and I really wanted to go to the beach, but getting home late and eating supper even later I didn’t think it would happen. But…

  Yep I made it there! It was sunny and beautiful and I enjoyed every minuet of it. We even had Ice-cream on the way down. I had moon mist and it’s been a long time! We went to Martinique Beach. There were surfers there and lots of people walking the beach. Here’s a fact; its the longest beach in NS and is 5Km long. We didn’t walk that far that is for sure, but it was a nice stroll with good conversation and the water my feet went in wasn’t too cold (once they got numb).

It is definitely time for me to hit the sack though, I will probably read a little and tomorrow is Friday! Which will kick off my Hubby’s Birthday Weekend!

Taking care of Massage

Well no post yesterday. Why? Cuz there was an elephant in my head. I stayed home from work because I had a huge migraine and really just couldn’t handle work with that. So my day was spent pretty quietly. And because I didn’t do much when it came bed time I didn’t sleep well. Oh well that is that.

Today at work I had a pretty good day, I got some positive feed back and felt good about the day. Then I did something I have never done before… I got a Massage! The massage itself was pretty good, I couldn’t say I was relaxed but it felt good. She did warn me I will be sore tomorrow because apparently I was very tense (well if I am really stressed that makes sense). The experience over all was a good one and I will be going back very soon. I also found out that I apparently have a subluxated rib. Which pretty much means it’s out of place. Now I don’t have pain with this which is good, and I also hear it’s pretty common in women. So it also means I may have a chiropractor in my future.

How do you feel about a chiropractor?

I have heard many things, good and bad and am a little afraid to go see one.

So that was my day, I have a long day tomorrow and am looking forward to the weekend, it’s Hubby’s birthday and we are celebrating!

Its a manic Monday…

Ok so my excitement over the weekend included a self pedicure

 

Eew my feet are gross with out nail polish!

Followed by some baking. I attempted a Hungry Girl Recipe yesterday.

     

It was super simple. 3 ingredients (pumpkin, brownie mix, and peanut butter). It didn’t turn out wonderful but it’s alright, I definitely expected better. So I will stick to my yum yum brownie muffins.

So that was yesterday. Today a different story. It was work, which was super busy and crazy and made me really want to look at why I do this job. But we are staying to the positive so here it is.

• The Makay bridge was closed but I wasn’t late even though I had to detour.
• I was busy and didn’t spend the day eating away like I sometimes do.
• I got home to a wonderful husband who made me amazing food, as always.
• I am now home in my comfy’s and have no real plans.

The only thing I am lacking is exercise, but it’s foggy here already and after the mind boggling day I had today I think it’s ok.

Well on to a new day tomorrow!

I’m back, and better than ever!

Ok so I have a new layout and a new theme. Positivity! From now on no more negative thoughts allowed on this blog. I will dedicate my time on the blog to finding the positive things in life, even if it’s as simple as I am still alive! But hopefully there will be more than that!

Just a quick update since I’ve been away almost a month. Nothing has really changed, except my attitude. I was very hung up on living in my mothers basement, the fact that we really can’t afford to get out, and just the general differences in lifestyle that me and my mother lead. Well I had a minor breakdown one night (ok maybe major) and the next morning I just decided it wasn’t worth stressing over or hiding over. So I am trying to be active in the day to day goings on and trying to be productive.

So there you go, next up is what I want to focus on to make me happier.

• Activity – I need to be more active, it’s just not enough to sit here every evening and lounge around.
• Food – I haven’t yet decided how “dedicated” I want to be to the “healthy eating” thing. I already eat well, I just indulge more than I maybe should. But the truth is I love my food! I am still working through this one.
• Me – I am important, I lead a floor of 19 staff and 33 residents, I need to look good and feel good. I have my first massage booked for next week and I have decided that I will try to keep up my appearance.
• Money – The light is at the end of the tunnel and we can see a glimmer. We got some news that we may be able to get a mortgage earlier than we had hoped, so for now it’s stick to the budget and save, save, save!
• Relationships – I have some good and some bad. I feel my husband and I have a really good relationship. It is key for me to keep it up and work on it even if it doesn't need it. However I also have some strained relationships and I need to learn to either speak up and let it out or accept people for who they are. This is definitely a work in progress.

So there you go, a bit of everything. My main thing is to stick with the positive so if you ever see negative talk that I don’t acknowledge let me know!

I am not an inspiration.

It’s that simple. I read some blogs and people are so positive and truly inspirational. I am not. This is not a bad thing, it is just how it is.  To the right is the newest picture of me. Do I look bad? I didn’t think so that day. But looking at it now I see a tummy and a chin, they don’t make me happy. Some days I don’t care… that day I didn’t. But today I do, I saw myself at work and was not happy with how I looked. I saw myself at home with one of Deans sweaters on and I was not happy. I have an addiction to food. I cannot limit myself. I also have a problem getting my ass off the couch. I know inside that if I got my ass up and worked out 5 days a week I would loose weight. But I honestly don’t know why I can’t seem to do that. I cannot seem to find motivation in anything.

Basically what I am saying is this; some days I can live at this weight and some days I can’t. Does that mean someday I eat well and work out and someday I don’t? Those aren’t very good habits are they?

I am so sick and tired of feeling back and forth with this weight loss. This is by far one of my hardest things to deal with. I just wish I could be happy and not do anything or get motivated and do something about it. Anyone have any insight into how to find some motivation?

Ok enough about this negative crap. Here is the positive. Dean and I got out for a small walk and ice cream tonight. I find it really helps to get out of our basement for a bit in the evening. (The ice cream is good too!) Also work was a good productive day, tomorrow I am on education which I enjoy, but I don’t enjoy getting off at 5 in traffic! Also in the positive category tonight is the amazing meal  Dean cooked tonight;

Pulled pork Sandwiches with homemade BBQ sauce and turnip fries with Curry dip!   Yummy!

And the last always positive thing; my kitty. He is lying in a very weird position which is normal for him… any one else find it weird?

Words from a girl

Wow that weekend flew right by. I can tell you I have a love/hate relationship with my weekends. I love not working but hate being board. I hate not having a house to take pride in and not having errands to run. I am just really frustrated with everything lately and honestly I’m making myself sick with all the negative crap.

I didn’t weigh in today because I was at Lynn’s I also haven’t tracked today or since like Wednesday. I didn’t eat bad though, and people keep saying that I look like I am losing weight, not sure how that happens since the number won’t change.

My weekend was pretty relaxed and I enjoyed it for the most part. Me and Dean have some stuff to work though and it’s been alot of talk and stuff so this week will be intense I think.

Work wise this week is also crazy busy. I am on course Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday. I also have my performance appraisal Friday… not really concerned about that I know I try my hardest at my job.

So I see my week as being busy and I just hope that by the weekend I feel better. I can only hope.

Here’s for a good week!

Quickie

I have a quickie post for you to share some random thoughts;

• I had Boston Pizza for supper tonight… the meal was ok, the time spent away from home with the hubby was worth every cent.
• Hubby totally broke my mouse for me laptop, so I now have a pretty new wireless blue one.
• Interpersonal communication is very important.
• So is relaxation.
• I might possible work 16 hours tomorrow so I can make an extra 200 dollars.
• Taxes suck.
• If we follow the budget we should be out of here in 10 months…
• 10 months is a very VERY long time.

And now it’s off to bed. Thank god tomorrow is Friday!

The walk and the Ice-cream

So today I almost had a panic attack. I was driving home and completely got short of breath and really nervous. I made it though but it was difficult. I have a few reasons which may of brought it on but not one event in particular.

After supper I got a phone call from some good friends who love me and are concerned about me. I really appreciate it! Thanks!

After supper me and Dean went out for some ice cream and a walk.

The first one of the season! And then because I am apparently not an ice cream cone expert it landed on the ground :(

But I then had something to laugh about and enjoyed the walk all the same. 

Two more work days left! I cannot wait for the weekend. I haven't been sleeping well and just want to sleep all day long. Hopefully I will sleep good tonight since I didn’t nap!